When a Neighborhood’s Silence Becomes a Tragedy: Lessons from "The Perfect Neighbor"

 

There’s a disturbing clarity in watching The Perfect Neighbor — a 2025 documentary that has become one of the most talked-about films of the year. Told almost entirely through police body camera footage, 911 calls, and real recordings from Ocala, Florida, the film replays the fatal shooting of Ajike “A.J.” Owens, a 35-year-old Black mother of four, by her white neighbor, Susan Lorincz. What begins as minor complaints about kids playing in a backyard spirals into a confrontation that ended in death, incarceration, and national conversation about race, guns, and community. 

Directed by Geeta Gandbhir and released on Netflix after premiering at Sundance, the film has been lauded for its unflinching use of real footage — no dramatic re-enactments, no narrated opinions — leaving viewers to sit in the uncomfortable space of witnessing a slow buildup of fear, resentment, miscommunication, and institutional failures. 

As we watch arguments over noise, perceived trespass, and personal space repeat on dispatch recordings and police cams, we see something more than a tragic true-crime tale. What emerges is a picture of disconnected people living side by side — a community where toleration replaced engagement, and assumptions replaced understanding.

Too often we say we want “good neighbors.” We imagine them as quiet, polite, and trouble-free — the kind who nod politely, keep to themselves, and avoid conflict. But as this story makes painfully evident, *being good neighbors is not enough if it means being uninvolved. What happened in that Florida neighborhood wasn’t just a confrontation between two people; it was a breakdown of communal care, compassion, and active presence. 

The calls to 911 — made repeatedly by one side — became substitutes for actual conversation. Residents who might have helped mediate or intervene stayed on the sidelines. Law enforcement, responding to dispatches without context, recorded the events without adequately defusing them. The result: a mother dead, kids traumatized, and a community left to reckon with how something as simple as children playing could be construed as a threat. 

The Perfect Neighbor holds up a mirror not just to America’s legal system or gun laws, but to the quiet neglect that can grow between people who have stopped seeing each other as neighbors and instead see only problems, nuisances, or worst of all — threats.

So what does it mean to be engaged neighbors? In reflection of this film’s hard lessons, consider these insights:

• Engagement means presence, not distance. More than residing in proximity, engagement is about paying attention — noticing when a neighbor thrives, struggles, or simply needs someone to listen. It’s about asking, “How are you doing?” before assuming “you’re a problem.”

• Engagement means active communication. Relationships don’t grow through complaints to authorities alone. Even small conflicts benefit from direct, calm voices, a willingness to listen, and a shared interest in peaceful resolution — not just avoidance.

• Engagement means shared responsibility for community wellbeing. Neighbors are not interchangeable units of property; they are part of a living network of mutual care. This doesn’t mean agreeing on everything — but it does mean acknowledging each other’s humanity in moments of disagreement.

• Engagement means crossing divides with empathy, not fear. Too often we let fear of difference or discomfort with nuance silence the very conversations that might prevent escalations. Real engagement is grounded in curiosity, patience, and respect for the dignity of others.

In The Perfect Neighbor, the tragedy could have unfolded differently if engagement had come earlier: if neighbors had intervened with kindness instead of judgement, if adults had spoken with one another before calling authorities, if fear had been met with empathy instead of escalation. As powerful as this documentary is in pointing out systemic faults, its most haunting message is about missed opportunities for human connection.

Good neighbors may keep the peace. But engaged neighbors build community — and in doing so, help protect the most vulnerable among us.

Written by David L. Burton

MORE INFORMATION

Take the Engaged Neighbor pledge and become part of a movement! The pledge outlines five categories and 20 principles to guide you toward becoming an engaged neighbor. Sign the pledge at https://nomoregoodneighbors.com. Individuals who take the pledge do get special invitations to future events online and in person. Contact the blog author, David L. Burton via email at dburton541@yahoo.com or burtond@missouri.edu. You can also visit his website at https://engagedneighbor.com.