We Are Neighbors

Forgiveness is a virtue, which means it can be learned and improved with practice. If someone borrows your lawnmower and is late in bringing it back. If another person hits and damages your car. Or if someone betrays you and gets you in trouble at work. Even though the severity of these examples is different, the same virtue of forgiveness is the right thing to do physically, spiritually, and socially. Physically, forgiveness creates a higher quality of life, a healthier body, and a more positive attitude. Dr. Robert Enright (co-founder of the International Institute of Forgiveness) has scientifically proven these and other therapeutic benefits of forgiveness. In most of his studies, those in the experimental group showed better emotional health (reduced anger, anxiety, depression, and/or PTSD symptoms with increased hopefulness about the future, self-esteem, and/or willingness to forgive) than those in the control group. His studies also show that if you can bring yourself t

  The holidays are here, and that means holiday parties. But this year, do not do the same old thing with egg nog, white elephant gifts, and snacks you work on all day. This season, try something new. This idea can be used with small or large groups (including neighbors) and lets you know more about someone! Around our house, we call this a “favorite things” party. It is easy to plan, and if you do this with neighbors, it is the perfect way to get to know people better. You can invite many people (or just a few) with little work or stress. It’s a fun party because everyone gets involved and interacts. Everyone goes home with a few new gifts! For this party, everyone brings identical gifts with one or more of their favorite things. If you have a large party, you bring two gifts. If it is a smaller group, have guests bring the quantity needed for every guest. If you have a large party, have all the guests at the party put their name in a bowl two times, and then each person s

Seeing someone do something good for someone else motivates people to perform their own helpful acts, researchers report. This finding could help drive cooperative behavior in communities. In their study, researchers confirmed that people could be heavily influenced by others, especially when taking on prosocial behavioral actions designed to benefit society. This study was completed in 2000 and included examples related to pandemic-related issues. One researcher wrote, “understanding this is important now, when large-scale cooperation and adoption of protective behaviors … have important implications for the well-being of entire communities,” said Haesung (Annie) Jung, who led the study while earning a PhD at the University of Texas at Austin. The study shows cooperative behavior can be “caught” from observation or exposure. These findings remind the public that their behavior can impact what others around them do, especially with acts of kindness, and it demonstrates why I have been

Thanksgiving can be a paradox of opposites. Families coming together, or not so well. Beautifully laid out tables, or just on Pinterest. Time off, but the stress of planning all the things. Sometimes the relationships that matter the most to us begin to fray at the edges, even in the middle of a holiday all about gratitude. Gratitude is the quality of being thankful, a feeling of appreciation or thanks; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. It might do our hearts good to talk about how gratitude can strengthen our relationships. Gratitude is often about little things, but it can change big things. Like tension in marriages. Like the tone we use when we talk to our kids. Like the conflict we are torn up over and the discontentment that clouds our days. Like the distance we feel when we pray. Here is another fact: It’s hard to be mad at someone you’re saying thank you for every day. That could apply to a spouse, a family member, a co-worker or even a neighb