Time to Consider the Role of Forgiveness



Forgiveness is a virtue, which means it can be learned and improved with practice.

If someone borrows your lawnmower and is late in bringing it back. If another person hits and damages your car. Or if someone betrays you and gets you in trouble at work. Even though the severity of these examples is different, the same virtue of forgiveness is the right thing to do physically, spiritually, and socially.

Physically, forgiveness creates a higher quality of life, a healthier body, and a more positive attitude. Dr. Robert Enright (co-founder of the International Institute of Forgiveness) has scientifically proven these and other therapeutic benefits of forgiveness.

In most of his studies, those in the experimental group showed better emotional health (reduced anger, anxiety, depression, and/or PTSD symptoms with increased hopefulness about the future, self-esteem, and/or willingness to forgive) than those in the control group.

His studies also show that if you can bring yourself to forgive, you will enjoy lower blood pressure, a stronger immune system, and a drop in the stress hormones circulating in your blood. Back pain, stomach problems, and headaches may disappear. You will also reduce the anger, bitterness, resentment, depression, and other negative emotions accompanying failure to forgive.

Researchers concluded that forgiving yourself and others can lower stress and boost mental health. While refusing to forgive may not directly cause disease, the negative impact of holding on to painful memories and past wounds can weaken the immune system making you more susceptible to infections.

Spiritually, forgiveness affirms what our faith requires of us and helps us live a life of integrity.

Socially, forgiveness reduces anger and resentment and improves personal relationships with family, friends, and the community.

At the same time, those around us benefit because we are less likely to carry our anger into other situations. We are less likely to displace our anger onto those who don’t deserve such treatment.

When unjustly treated by others, a person forgives when they abandon resentment and offer beneficence toward the unjust person or people. But forgiveness is anything but weak because the forgiver is not condoning, excusing, forgetting, or necessarily even reconciling with the other because none of these qualities is a moral virtue centered in goodness, as is forgiveness.

If you want to know more about forgiveness and how it can benefit your interaction with neighbors, join us for Neighboring 101 on Dec. 15 when Dr. Patricia Plumb will be our guest. Dr. Plumb, a University of Missouri graduate, is an experienced leadership coach who has worked with groups on forgiveness and reconciliation. You can register for the class online at http://extension.missouri.edu.

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David Burton is a published author (with books on neighboring coming soon). Learn more at https://www.amazon.com/author/davidlburton

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