We Are Neighbors

  How would you react if your neighbors died in a murder-suicide and you realized that you did not know their names? Then you discover none of your neighbors knew their names. Would you have feelings of guilt, wondering if you could have made a difference? Would you have feelings of anger toward other neighbors for not being involved? Or would you be motivated to make a change? Peter Lovenheim, when faced with this exact situation, was motivated to change. He began finding ways to connect with his neighbors. Eventually, he did “sleepovers” with his neighbors to learn more. That experience forms the basis of his book, "In the Neighborhood: The Search for Community on an American Street, One Sleepover at a Time." My next session of Neighboring 101 begins on Zoom at 12 CST on Thursday, Feb. 16 and Peter Lovenheim will be my guest. You can register for Neighboring 101 and all future sessions online at https://extension.missouri.edu . Lovenheim is an author and journal

  Every year on New Year’s Eve, my wife and reveal our “words of the year.” This is something we pray about in advance and then focus on during the year in books and devotionals we read. This year, I felt God nudging me toward the word “forgiveness.”   I’ve read two books on the subject already and the interesting thing is others are focused on this word too. Tim Keller just released a book entitled, “Forgive” and he says it is the most important need for the American culture and church right now in this moment. So I guess I can say that me, God and Tim Keller are all on the same page. Let me draw your attention to a parable in Matthew 18: 21-35 Jesus used this story to drive home the main reason why we should forgive those who have hurt us, and the reason is not what we might think. It begins with Peter who says, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" (Matthew 18:21) In response to the question about how often o

In the first study of its kind, a University of Kansas professor has defined the amount of time necessary to make a friend and how long it typically takes to move through the stages of friendship. Associate Professor Jeffrey Hall found that it takes roughly 50 hours together to move from mere acquaintances to casual friends. It takes 90 hours to go from that stage to simple "friend" status and more than 200 hours before you can consider someone your close friend. Time spent hanging out, joking around, playing video games, and similar activities count toward friendships. Hall's study found that work hours do not count as much. "We have to put that time in," Hall said. "You can't snap your fingers and make a friend." Hall and a colleague developed an online tool where they guess your friendship closeness based on your answers to a few questions. Hall said he extrapolated his latest work from previous studies that established that a person

If your goal is to become a better neighbor in 2023 or if you want to develop more community connectedness, some opportunities are set for Feb. 1. Jennifer Prophete, director of The Hopeful Neighborhood Project in St. Louis, will be in town to lead a couple of events in Republic on Feb. 1. I am also leading a six-week small group study that begins Feb. 4 in Republic that is worth your consideration. These events are intended to kick off neighboring efforts in and around Republic, but it will only have an impact if we have you in attendance! LIBRARY EVENT Love Your Neighborhood Workshops are being offered at 3 p.m. and again at 5 p.m. on Feb. 1 at the Republic branch library, 921 N Lindsey Ave. These workshops are open to the public, and materials are provided free of charge. We ask that you register with the Republic library or on the MU Extension website at http://extension.missouri.edu. Love Your Neighborhood Workshops are events designed to help you spread neighborly l

I often get asked where to start on neighboring. For years I have said: learn your neighbors' names, use their names and host get-togethers. Those are three simple steps. But many adults want more details. I've been short on advice until I recently read the classic book (written 70 years ago) by Dale Carnegie: "How to Win Friends and Influence People." I provide here an outline of concepts from Carnegie's book and replace the word "friends" or "people" with "neighbors." Fundamental Techniques in Handling Neighbors 1. Don't criticize, condemn, or complain. Human nature does not like to admit fault. When neighbors are criticized or humiliated, they seldom respond well and often become defensive and resent the critic. This approach rarely results in the behavior we desire. 2. Give honest and sincere appreciation. Sincere and meaningful appreciation is one of the most powerful tools in the world.  Neighbors  will rarely work at thei