Book Review: Platonic by Marisa G. Franco

 


Marisa G. Franco’s book, Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends, explores the importance of friendships and how attachment theory can help us build stronger relationships. The book is meant to help people understand why they struggle with making and keeping friends while offering advice on how to improve their social connections. Franco combines scientific research, personal stories, and psychological insights to explain friendship dynamics. While the book has some useful takeaways, it also has several flaws that make it less effective than it could have been.

Two Positive Takeaways from the Book

One of the best insights in Platonic is the idea that friendships require effort and intentionality. Franco explains that many people assume friendships will just happen naturally, but in reality, strong relationships take time and energy. She encourages readers to actively reach out, make plans, and show up for others rather than waiting for friendships to develop on their own. This is a valuable reminder in today’s world, where social connections can easily fade due to busy schedules and digital distractions.

Another useful takeaway is Franco’s discussion on attachment styles in friendships. Most people are familiar with attachment theory in romantic relationships, but Franco applies it to friendships as well. She explains how people with different attachment styles (secure, anxious, or avoidant) interact with friends and how these styles affect relationship dynamics. This perspective can help readers understand their own patterns in friendships and recognize why certain relationships may feel frustrating or unfulfilling.

Four Negative Observations About the Book

Despite its strengths, Platonic has several weaknesses. One major flaw is that the book tends to be repetitive. Franco makes great points about the importance of friendship and attachment styles, but she repeats the same ideas multiple times throughout the book. Readers may feel like they are going in circles, hearing the same message phrased in slightly different ways. A more concise approach would have made the book more engaging.

Another issue is that the book focuses too much on theory and not enough on practical solutions. While the research is interesting, Franco often spends more time explaining studies than offering concrete advice. Readers looking for step-by-step guidance on how to make and keep friends might feel disappointed. More real-world strategies and specific examples would have made the book more useful.

A third problem is that Franco assumes that people have equal opportunities to form friendships, without fully addressing barriers like social anxiety, geographic isolation, or demanding work schedules. While she encourages readers to put themselves out there, she doesn’t offer much help for people who struggle with shyness or fear of rejection. The book would have been stronger if it included more realistic strategies for people who find socializing difficult.

Finally, the book sometimes feels overly idealistic. Franco paints a hopeful picture of how friendships can improve if people simply understand their attachment styles and make an effort. However, in reality, friendships are complicated, and not every relationship can be saved or improved with self-awareness alone. The book doesn’t fully acknowledge that some friendships end for valid reasons, and not all people are open to deepening connections. A more balanced perspective would have made the book feel more grounded.

Final Thoughts

Platonic offers some valuable insights into the science of friendship and how attachment theory can help people better understand their social connections. Franco’s emphasis on intentionality and self-awareness is helpful, and readers may find her explanations of attachment styles useful in evaluating their own relationships.

However, the book’s repetitiveness, lack of practical advice, and overly optimistic approach make it less effective than it could have been. Readers looking for a deep, research-based exploration of friendship may enjoy the book, but those who want clear, actionable steps might find it frustrating. While Platonic raises important questions about friendships, it doesn’t always provide the most satisfying answers.

Written by David L. Burton

MORE INFORMATION

Take the Engaged Neighbor pledge and become part of a movement! The pledge outlines five categories and 20 principles to guide you toward becoming an engaged neighbor. Sign the pledge at https://nomoregoodneighbors.com. Individuals who take the pledge do get special invitations to future events online and in person. Contact the blog author, David L. Burton via email at dburton541@yahoo.com or visit his website at http://engagedneighbor.com.


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