Lessons from an Engaged Neighbor

I'm cutting out the fluff today and getting straight to the topic of becoming an engaged neighbor. Key insights for those wanting to establish relationships with their neighbors are as follows.

Start with The Basic Three  

• Learn the names of your neighbors. 
• Find excuses to use the names of your neighbors. 
• Invite them to a social or an activity. 

Focus on Connection, Not Entertainment  

When we talk about community engagement, it's kind of like telling people to have a block party, and suddenly they think, 'Oh, I've got to get a band and a bounce house.' No. Just on your driveway with your immediate neighbors. The power is in the invitation and the connection, not the entertainment. 

Think Local First  

There's nothing I can do that will impact Washington, D.C. There's very little I can do that's going to impact my state capital. But every single day, I can do something that impacts my neighbors and my neighborhood. It begins from the moment I step out my front door. 

 

Practice Patience 

Not every neighbor is going to join in at the same speed and some others. You likely have some neighbors that will require 10, 15 or 20 invitations before they come over.. This highlights the importance of maintaining consistent opportunities for connection without pressure. 

 

Start Small 

The bar for what it means to be a good neighbor is set so low, it's hard to crawl under it. Doing odd jobs, lending a helping hand, even things you take for granted can help form a neighbor connection.

Be Intentional 

Community engagement isn't something you do occasionally - it's a lifestyle. "It's not a hat I take on and off or a box that I check each day." 

Measure Success Differently 

Don't focus solely on numbers. I have had events where fewer people showed up than expected, but later learned how meaningful the gathering was for those who did attend. Success is not always found in the numbers.

Begin In Your Neighborhood or Community

In 2021, we got Missouri Good Neighbor Week (Sept. 28-Oct.4) signed into law by the Governor. The effort began first in my city (2019) and then my county (2020 and 2021) and is now celebrated statewide. In 2024, over 31,000 acts of neighboring were reported during the week, five cities were recognized as Missouri’s most neighborly, and 20 individuals were selected as the most engaged neighbors in the state.  Now, at least five other states have contacted me and are looking at ways to pass similar legislation. "I see the impact this week is having because it motivates individuals and cities to plan events and take action to make connections with neighbors and to serve their neighbors. When anyone is working to become a more engaged neighbor, we all benefit." 

GOAL AND VISION FOR ENGAGED NEIGHBOR PROGRAM

The engaged neighbor program provides educational training, resources and events focused on the who, what, why, and how of being an engaged and connected neighbor. The long-term goal is to make an engaged neighborhood lifestyle normal and appreciated. Take the pledge and become an engaged neighbor today at http://engagedneighbor.com

MORE INFORMATION

Have you taken the Engaged Neighbor pledge? The pledge outlines five categories and 20 principles to guide you toward becoming an engaged neighbor. Sign the pledge online at http://engagedneighbor.com. Individuals who take the pledge do get special privileges and get invited to future events online and in person. Contact the blog author, David L. Burton at dburton541@yahoo.com.