Breaking the Habit Loop as it Relates to Neighboring

 

Building good habits is a challenging but rewarding process. Whether you are trying to build a habit of being a better neighbor or break old patterns of avoiding social interaction, certain science-backed techniques can help make your efforts more successful. 

Understanding the process of how to start a new habit or break an old one can lead to better connections in your neighborhood and improve community engagement.

Say Your Goal Out Loud

One of the first steps in creating new habits is saying your goal out loud. This might sound simple, but research shows that saying things like “I want to be a better neighbor” can help you feel more committed to the goal. 

When you say your goals out loud, it helps your brain connect to them more deeply, increasing your chances of success. It’s not just about hearing your goals; it’s about reinforcing them in your mind.

Swap a New Habit for an Old One

Starting a new habit doesn’t always have to mean completely abandoning an old one. In fact, replacing old habits with new, more productive ones can be a much smoother process. 

For example, if your usual habit is to stay inside and avoid socializing after work, try replacing that habit with a new one, like taking a walk around the neighborhood to say hello to neighbors. By keeping the old routine of getting out of your house but switching the focus from avoiding others to connecting with them, you can make the new habit stick.

Aim Small (Start with Small Goals)

It can be overwhelming to think about completely changing your routine, especially if you want to start becoming more social in your neighborhood. 

The key is to aim small. Instead of setting a large goal like, “I’ll talk to all my neighbors this week,” start by setting a smaller goal like, “I’ll wave to one neighbor today,” or “I’ll introduce myself to one neighbor this week.” 

Achieving smaller goals builds confidence and momentum, making it easier to build toward larger ones.

Add on to an Existing Routine

Sometimes, the best way to develop a new habit is to add it to something you’re already doing. This technique is called habit stacking. 

For example, if you always walk your dog in the evening, use that time to also wave or say hello to a neighbor. By stacking the new behavior of greeting others with the already established habit of walking your dog, you can make the new habit feel less like a chore and more like a natural part of your routine.

Banish the All-or-Nothing Mentality

One common mistake when trying to build new habits is thinking that you have to do everything perfectly, or not at all. But this all-or-nothing thinking can be discouraging and often leads to failure. Instead, allow yourself to take small steps toward your goal. 

Even if you only greet one neighbor instead of talking to all of them, that’s still progress. It’s better to take small actions regularly than to aim for perfection and give up when you fall short.

Set Up the Right Cues

Another important technique for habit-building is setting up cues in your environment that remind you to practice your new habit. 

For example, if you want to be more involved in your neighborhood, leave a note by your door to remind yourself to say hello to someone whenever you leave. This visual cue can serve as a prompt that helps you remember to act.

Be Kind to Yourself

Finally, breaking old habits or building new ones takes time, and setbacks are inevitable. If you try to engage more with your neighbors but miss a day or week, don’t be hard on yourself. Remember, change is a process, and consistency is key. Each time you try again, you’re one step closer to making the habit a permanent part of your life.

In conclusion, breaking old habits and building new ones, especially when it comes to being a better neighbor, can be challenging, but it’s entirely possible. 

By following steps like saying your goals out loud, starting small, adding new habits to existing routines, and setting up cues, you can gradually make positive changes in your behavior and become more connected with the people around you. 

And remember, be patient and kind to yourself as you work through this process—every step counts.

Written by David L. Burton

MORE INFORMATION

Take the Engaged Neighbor pledge and become part of a movement! The pledge outlines five categories and 20 principles to guide you toward becoming an engaged neighbor. Sign the pledge at https://nomoregoodneighbors.com. Individuals who take the pledge do get special invitations to future events online and in person. Contact the blog author, David L. Burton via emal at dburton541@yahoo.com.