Todd Swanstrom: Why Small Acts of Kindness and Weak Ties Matter in Our Neighborhoods

 

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to feel disconnected. Many of us don’t know the names of our neighbors. We spend a lot of time online or driving in our cars. We wave at people from a distance but rarely stop to talk. Todd Swanstrom, a professor at the University of Missouri–St. Louis and co-author of The Changing American Neighborhood, believes that these simple interactions—called “weak ties”—can actually improve our lives and communities in powerful ways.

A New Way of Thinking About Neighborhoods

Dr. Swanstrom says that many people still imagine neighborhoods the way they were 50 or 60 years ago. Back then, people sat on front porches, kids played in the street, and neighbors were part of each other’s everyday lives. He grew up in that kind of neighborhood in St. Paul, Minnesota. He remembers knowing everyone on his block and feeling safe and connected. There were block parties, ice skating rinks, and family picnics.

But times have changed. Air conditioning keeps people inside. Jobs are farther away, and many people now work from home or commute long distances. The internet allows us to shop, work, and be entertained without ever leaving our house. Because of all these changes, neighborhoods today look very different from those of the past.

However, Dr. Swanstrom doesn’t believe this means neighborhoods don’t matter anymore. In fact, he argues that neighborhoods are just as important as ever—but in a new way.

What Are “Weak Ties”?

One of the most important ideas Dr. Swanstrom talks about is the idea of “weak ties.” These are the casual relationships we form with people we see often but may not know very well. For example, maybe you wave to a neighbor while walking your dog. Maybe the cashier at the local store knows your usual order. Maybe you smile at someone during a walk or say hello in passing.

These small, friendly moments may not seem like much, but they matter. They make people feel seen. They create a sense of belonging. And according to research, they can improve our health, reduce loneliness, and help communities come together when needed.

Why Weak Ties Matter

Weak ties help build something called “bridging social capital.” This means we are connected with people who are different from us—people of different ages, races, backgrounds, and beliefs. These casual connections help us understand each other and reduce the fear or stereotypes that can grow when we stay in our own bubbles.

Dr. Swanstrom gives an example from his own life. When he goes for a walk, he often sees the same people. He may not know their names, but he recognizes them. These repeated encounters, even without deep conversations, help build trust and connection.

Research shows that these weak ties can even lead to job opportunities or other helpful resources. They also help neighborhoods organize when something threatens their area, like a new highway or business that could cause harm. When people already have a foundation of trust, they can more easily work together to make their voices heard.

Why Strong Ties Alone Aren’t Enough

It’s natural to think strong friendships are the most important kind of relationship. And yes, having close friends is vital for happiness. But strong ties alone can’t build a healthy community. If we only talk to people who are just like us or who are in our immediate circle, we miss out on the diversity and richness of the full community.

In fact, too many strong ties in separate groups can divide a neighborhood. For example, if people form tight groups based on race, religion, or family background, they might not talk to anyone outside their circle. This can make it harder for the neighborhood to work together or understand each other’s needs. That’s why weak ties—those everyday, casual interactions—are so valuable.

Neighborhoods Have Changed, But That’s Okay

The old way of thinking about neighborhoods—where everyone knew everyone and people gathered all the time—still shapes how many people think a “real” neighborhood should be. But Dr. Swanstrom reminds us that times have changed. More women work outside the home. Families are smaller. People move more often. Neighborhoods today may not look like Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t important.

We don’t have to go back in time to build better neighborhoods. Instead, we can focus on what works now: encouraging small, kind, face-to-face moments. We can design our neighborhoods to make it easier for people to bump into each other and connect naturally.

Designing for Connection

So how do we create neighborhoods where weak ties can grow? Dr. Swanstrom offers several suggestions:

1. Walkability matters. When neighborhoods are designed for walking—not just driving—people are more likely to see and interact with one another. Front porches, sidewalks, and small parks all help.

2. Mix things up. A good neighborhood isn’t just homes. It also has places like coffee shops, libraries, and community gardens. These shared spaces create chances for people to connect casually.

3. Public spaces should be the right size. Big parks can feel empty and unsafe. Smaller parks or gathering spaces that fit the size of the neighborhood are better for creating a sense of comfort and community.

4. Host simple events. Farmers markets, neighborhood picnics, and block parties give people a reason to get out and meet each other. These don’t have to be fancy—just fun and welcoming.

5. Encourage face-to-face meetings. Online tools can be helpful for organizing, but they should lead to real-life interaction. In-person contact builds trust much more than social media or group emails.

Rebuilding After the Pandemic

The COVID-19 pandemic made social disconnection even worse. Dr. Swanstrom says it felt like someone poured “solvent” on society, breaking down the relationships we had. Many of us got out of the habit of getting together. Rebuilding those connections is hard, but it’s necessary.

Now is a great time to start reconnecting—with a smile, a wave, or a small chat at the mailbox. These small acts of kindness may seem minor, but they lay the groundwork for a stronger, more connected community.

How This Applies to All of Us

No matter where we live—city, suburb, or rural area—we can all benefit from stronger weak ties. If you feel lonely or disconnected, try stepping outside more often. Take a walk. Visit a local coffee shop. Say hi to someone new. These tiny steps are how trust grows.

You don’t need to become best friends with your neighbors overnight. But the more we acknowledge each other, the more we feel like we belong. And when people feel like they belong, they take care of each other and the place they live.

Dr. Swanstrom believes that today’s neighborhoods—built on weak ties—offer a special kind of freedom and connection. You can be yourself and still be part of something bigger. You don’t have to give up your independence to enjoy a sense of community.

Final Thought

We often wait for big changes to fix the problems in our communities. But what if the answer is much smaller and simpler? What if saying hello, stopping to chat, or showing kindness to a neighbor is the real solution?

Todd Swanstrom’s message is clear: neighborhoods still matter. And the way to make them stronger is through simple, everyday acts of friendliness. Weak ties may not seem powerful, but they can help us live healthier, happier, and more connected lives.

So next time you see someone walking their dog, smile and say hello. You might be doing more for your community—and yourself—than you realize.

Written by David L. Burton

MORE INFORMATION

Take the Engaged Neighbor pledge and become part of a movement! The pledge outlines five categories and 20 principles to guide you toward becoming an engaged neighbor. Sign the pledge at https://nomoregoodneighbors.com. Individuals who take the pledge do get special invitations to future events online and in person. Contact the blog author, David L. Burton via email at dburton541@yahoo.com or visit his website at http://engagedneighbor.com.