Why Knowing Your Neighbors Matters: Trust, Belonging, and Bridging Divides

In today’s world, it might feel like people are more divided than ever. Turn on the news or scroll through social media, and it seems like everyone is arguing—especially about politics. But there’s a surprising and simple way to bring people together: get to know your neighbors.

When neighbors build trust and relationships with each other, amazing things can happen. Political differences seem smaller. People feel less lonely. Communities become safer, happier places. Let’s explore how this works—and why it matters.

The Power of a Friendly “Hello”

Getting to know your neighbors often starts with something small: a wave, a smile, or a quick “hello” on the sidewalk. These simple actions might not seem like much, but they open the door to friendship.

In the book "The Art of Neighboring," authors Jay Pathak and Dave Runyon say, “When we learn the names of the people who live around us and begin to build relationships, we create a stronger, healthier community.” 

In other words, neighboring is not just nice—it’s powerful.

Take the story of a woman named Martha in Kansas City. After years of barely knowing her neighbors, she started walking her dog at the same time every day. Over time, she began to recognize faces and strike up short conversations. Eventually, she invited a few of her neighbors over for lemonade. That small step led to monthly gatherings on her front porch—and new friendships that crossed political and generational lines.

Bridging the Political Divide

Politics can be tricky. Many people feel uncomfortable talking about politics with neighbors, especially if they don’t agree. But personal relationships help reduce tension.

Research shows that when people know each other as real humans—not just as labels like “Democrat” or “Republican”—they are more likely to listen and less likely to argue.

In "I Never Thought of It That Way," author Monica Guzman shares her journey of talking across political differences. She writes, “Curiosity is the fuel that drives connection. And connection makes it harder to hate.”

Neighborhoods are perfect places for this kind of connection. For example, in a small town in Missouri, neighbors from opposite sides of the political spectrum teamed up to plant flowers along the main street. They didn’t talk politics. They talked about soil, sunshine, and which flowers would bloom best. Over time, they came to respect each other—not because they agreed, but because they worked side by side.

These kinds of experiences remind us: we are more than our politics. We are parents, dog-walkers, teachers, helpers, and friends.

Fighting Loneliness Together

Loneliness is a growing problem in America. According to the U.S. Surgeon General’s 2023 advisory on loneliness, more than half of adults report feeling lonely at least some of the time. Loneliness isn’t just sad—it’s dangerous. It can lead to health problems like heart disease, depression, and even a shorter life.

But good neighbors can be a powerful cure.

In Springfield, Missouri, a man named Jerry lives alone. For years, he didn’t know anyone on his block. One winter, he slipped on ice and couldn’t get up. A neighbor named Alex noticed him, helped him up, and brought him inside. That small act sparked a new friendship. Now, they check in on each other weekly.

Jerry says, “It makes me feel safer, knowing someone’s looking out for me. I don’t feel invisible anymore.”

These kinds of relationships make people feel like they matter. And that’s what belonging is all about.

What Does Belonging Mean?

Belonging means feeling accepted and valued for who you are. It’s knowing that you are part of something bigger than yourself.

Belonging doesn’t come from a perfect house or a fancy street. It comes from human connection. That connection often begins next door.

A 2024 study from the Pew Research Center found that people who know most of their neighbors are more likely to say they feel a strong sense of community. They are also more likely to feel safe and happy in their neighborhood.

In one neighborhood in Des Moines, Iowa, a group of residents started “Neighbor Nights” once a month in the local park. They brought food, played music, and set out lawn chairs. One woman shared, “Before this, I didn’t feel like I belonged anywhere. Now I have people who wave when I drive by and ask how my mom is doing. That means everything.”

Small Actions, Big Impact

You don’t have to throw a huge block party or organize a city event to make a difference. Small actions matter. Here are a few easy ways to build trust and connection in your neighborhood:

Learn Names: Start by learning the names of the people who live near you. It shows you care.

Share food: Bring cookies, vegetables from your garden, or even leftovers to a neighbor.

Offer help: Shovel a snowy sidewalk. Carry in groceries. Watch a pet while someone’s away.

Be visible: Spend time outside. Sit on your porch. Walk your neighborhood.

Celebrate together: Invite neighbors to celebrate holidays or birthdays. Shared joy builds trust.

In Columbia, Missouri, one neighborhood started a “Sidewalk Soup Night” during the winter. Every Thursday, someone would make a big pot of soup and set up folding tables in their driveway. Neighbors came with bowls and spoons. Over soup, they laughed, shared stories, and got to know each other better. It became a weekly highlight and helped people feel more connected—even during cold, dark months.

Trust Is Built Over Time

Trust doesn’t happen overnight. It grows slowly, through repeated small acts of kindness and reliability.

Dr. Eric Klinenberg, author of "Palaces for the People," explains that “social infrastructure”—places and relationships that bring people together—helps communities stay strong during hard times. He points out that in neighborhoods where people know and trust each other, people are more likely to survive disasters, recover faster, and stay mentally healthy.

Neighborhoods That Work

There are neighborhoods all across the country where people are intentionally getting to know each other and working together to build trust.

In North Liberty, Iowa, the city created a “Neighborhood Ambassador” program. Each block or neighborhood has a volunteer who helps organize events, shares city updates, and connects people. The city provides support, training, and even funding for small gatherings. This simple idea has helped increase turnout at city meetings and made residents feel more involved.

Kindness Is Contagious

When people feel seen, known, and valued, they are more likely to treat others the same way. Kindness spreads.

Christakis and Fowler, authors of the book "Connected: The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks," explain that emotions and behaviors ripple through social networks. If your neighbor is happy and helpful, you are more likely to be the same. The reverse is also true.

That means that one act of neighboring—one shared meal, one thoughtful conversation, one helpful hand—can spread throughout a community like sunshine on a cloudy day.

What You Can Do Today

If this all sounds good but a little overwhelming, don’t worry. You don’t have to do everything at once. You can start today, with something small. Here are three ideas:

1. Wave and smile. It takes just a second. It starts a habit of friendliness.

2. Introduce yourself. Knock on one neighbor’s door or talk to someone on a walk.

3. Ask one question. Try: “How long have you lived here?” or “What’s your favorite part of this neighborhood?”

Each small step helps build something bigger: trust, connection, and community.

A More Hopeful Future Starts Next Door

We can’t solve every national problem in our front yard. But we can make our neighborhoods places of belonging, safety, and trust.

When we know our neighbors, we’re less lonely. When we trust our neighbors, we feel safer. When we connect across differences, we help heal divides.

The front porch, the sidewalk, the fence line—they are all places where change can begin.

In the words of Fred Rogers, “Deep and simple is far more essential than shallow and complex.” Getting to know your neighbors is both deep and simple.

So knock, wave, smile, share. Say hello. Be kind. Start small.

Because building a better world doesn’t start in Washington or on the internet—it starts next door.

Written by David L. Burton

MORE INFORMATION

Take the Engaged Neighbor pledge and become part of a movement! The pledge outlines five categories and 20 principles to guide you toward becoming an engaged neighbor. Sign the pledge at https://nomoregoodneighbors.com. Individuals who take the pledge do get special invitations to future events online and in person. Contact the blog author, David L. Burton via emal at dburton541@yahoo.com.