Q: My neighborhood has been engaged in the past but more and more I am seeing the core participants stop serving and as a result we have returned to apathy and it is so discouraging. Do you have any thoughts on how to change things, to get things going again. - Worried in Missouri
Dear Neighbor
First, thank you for your honesty. What you described—a once-active neighborhood that now feels “cold”—is something many community leaders experience. You’re not alone in the disappointment, but you’re also not alone in the calling to keep trying.
Kurt Kaiser wrote the song "Pass It On. That song includes the phrase, "It only takes a spark to get a fire going." An engaged neighbor is a spark in their neighborhood or association.
You can be a spark like Alyssa, who turned a vacant lot into a sunflower garden that brightens downtown Springfield. Or like Lyndal, who mows the widows’ yards on his street all summer to keep the neighborhood looking nice. Or like Sandi, who started a Bunco club that grew into 12 women meeting weekly and even organizing a kids’ parade. Or like Carolyn, who created a community vegetable garden that brings her 55+ neighbors outside to gather. Or like Marilyn, who celebrated her neighbors’ diversity with an ethnic potluck. Or like Steve, who cared for his neighbor’s horses so she could focus on cancer treatments.
And you too can be the spark among your neighbors to get the fire going. But it is hard work to be an engaged neighbor.
I don’t understand the lack of interest or the opposition to this type of work. But I’ve just decided not to let that stop me. Being a leader sometimes means rowing by yourself. You may feel like you’re paddling upstream alone, but steady strokes can still move the boat forward.
I was reminded of this recently when Missouri banned phones during the school day. Teachers say their students are suddenly more engaged and talkative. My own nephew admitted he didn’t realize how addicted he was to his phone until it was taken away. Honestly, I think this lesson applies to adults as well. We’ve withdrawn into screens, texts, and private worlds, and that helps explain the apathy you’re seeing. I have a neighbor who can barely muster a wave in person but texts me constantly. It’s not ideal, but I don’t stop inviting him to join in. Little by little, those invitations plant seeds.
And you’re right—there are positives, even if they come in small doses. Much of the joy people are searching for can be found in the very service and relationships they are avoiding. Sometimes all it takes is one unexpected act of kindness to remind them.
My advice? Keep the door open. Keep inviting. Keep celebrating even the small wins. Don’t measure success only by numbers at an event—look for the growth in courage, compassion, and connection, even if it starts with just one or two.
And while you wait and work, pray. Ask God to allow you to see some fruit from your labor. Leadership in neighboring is often slow, hidden work. But even when the fire feels like embers, a faithful breath can bring back the flame.
Keep rowing. Keeping being a spark. You’re doing good work.
Warmly,
A Fellow Neighbor
Written by David L. Burton
MORE INFORMATION
Take the Engaged Neighbor pledge and become part of a movement! The pledge outlines five categories and 20 principles to guide you toward becoming an engaged neighbor. Sign the pledge at https://nomoregoodneighbors.com. Individuals who take the pledge do get special invitations to future events online and in person. Contact the blog author, David L. Burton via email at dburton541@yahoo.com or burtond@missouri.edu. You can also visit his website at https://engagedneighbor.com.
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