Why Every Neighborhood Needs Intentional Neighbors

 

I often hear people say they “prefer to keep things organic” when it comes to neighboring. They like the idea of chance encounters—running into someone at the mailbox, chatting in the grocery aisle, or waving as they walk the dog. And of course, there is something warm about these spontaneous moments. But if we are honest, those organic connections aren’t happening as often as they once did.

We’re busier. We’re distracted. We default to small talk, or we stay in our own heads. Even when the organic moment is there, many of us miss the chance to move beyond “How are you?” to real conversation. That’s why neighborhoods desperately need people who are willing to be more intentional.

The Case for Intentional Neighboring

Intentional neighboring doesn’t mean forcing relationships. It means creating opportunities that wouldn’t exist otherwise. It might look like asking a neighbor to help plan a block party, inviting a family over for coffee on the porch, or knocking on a door with an invitation to a neighborhood gathering.

Without intentionality, the majority of our connections stay surface-level. And while surface connections can be pleasant, they rarely grow into the kind of relationships that build belonging, trust, and resilience. As one colleague of mine has pointed out, even so-called “organic” interactions require someone to take the first step. In that sense, intentionality is the seed of every connection.

Why Block Captains Matter

One proven way to encourage intentionality is through block captains. These are neighbors who take responsibility for a street, cul-de-sac, or apartment floor. They don’t need to be extroverts or full-time organizers. Their role is simple: extend invitations, share information, and help create a rhythm of connection.

Block captains are the ones who send out the reminder about the potluck, check in on the elderly neighbor after a storm, or start the text thread that makes the neighborhood feel alive and connected. They make it easier for others to step into community without having to reinvent the wheel.

Moving Beyond the “Quiet Neighbor” Script

Part of the challenge is cultural. For decades, we’ve celebrated the idea of the “good neighbor” as the quiet one—the person who respects privacy, doesn’t bother others, and keeps to themselves. But in practice, this version of neighboring often leads to isolation.

Our neighborhoods thrive when people are willing to step out of that script and risk being a little more intentional. It doesn’t mean prying. It doesn’t mean being overbearing. It simply means showing up with openness, kindness, and the courage to start a conversation.

A Call to Action

Organic moments are wonderful, but they will never be enough on their own to heal the disconnection so many communities face today. Every block needs someone willing to go first—to create the gathering, to extend the invitation, to deepen the conversation.

If you’re waiting for things to “just happen,” you may be waiting a long time. But if you’re willing to take one small intentional step this week, you might be surprised at how quickly your neighborhood begins to feel like a community again.

Written by David L. Burton

MORE INFORMATION

Take the Engaged Neighbor pledge and become part of a movement! The pledge outlines five categories and 20 principles to guide you toward becoming an engaged neighbor. Sign the pledge at https://nomoregoodneighbors.com. Individuals who take the pledge do get special invitations to future events online and in person. Contact the blog author, David L. Burton via email at dburton541@yahoo.com or burtond@missouri.edu. You can also visit his website at https://engagedneighbor.com.