Review: Sherry Turkle's "Alone Together" is a Thoughtful, Timely and Deeply Human Exploration of Technology

Alone Together is one of the most important cultural analyses of the digital age. In this compelling and carefully researched book, Sherry Turkle — a sociologist and psychologist at MIT — examines how technology, particularly social media, smartphones, and relational AI, is reshaping human relationships.

Her central question is both simple and unsettling: Are we becoming more connected — or more alone?

The book is 16 years old (as of 2026) and that question has never been more important, or more relevant.

Turkle does not approach technology as a technophobe. Instead, she offers a careful, compassionate, and research-based reflection on how our digital tools are influencing identity, intimacy, and community. The result is not alarmist — it is sobering.

Structure of the Book

The book unfolds in two major sections:

The Robotic Moment

Turkle examines how humans relate to machines — particularly social robots like Tamagotchis, robotic pets, and eldercare robots. She asks:

• Why do we form emotional attachments to machines?

• What happens when machines simulate empathy?

• Does “as if” caring replace actual caring?

Her interviews with children, teens, and older adults are fascinating. Many participants express comfort in robotic companions — sometimes even preferring them to people because they are predictable and non-demanding.

That insight alone is chilling.

Networked Life

The second half focuses on phones, texting, social media, and online identity. Turkle introduces one of the book’s most quoted insights: We are “alone together” — physically near others but psychologically elsewhere.

She explores:

• The performance of identity on social media.

• The preference for texting over talking.

• The fear of face-to-face vulnerability.

• The pressure to curate and edit oneself.

Her interviews reveal that many young people would rather text than speak — because texting allows them to control the conversation and edit their responses.

The cost? Spontaneity. Presence. Depth.

Big Takeaways from the Book

Connection Is Not the Same as Intimacy

We can have hundreds of digital interactions and still feel lonely. Turkle argues that constant connectivity can dilute deeper forms of relationship. The illusion of connection sometimes replaces the work of connection. That distinction feels even more relevant today.

We Are Losing the Skill of Conversation

Turkle makes a powerful case that conversation — real, unscripted, in-person dialogue — is foundational to empathy and understanding.

When we default to text, we: avoid discomfort, avoid nuance, and avoid vulnerability.

But we also avoid growth.

We Edit Ourselves Into Exhaustion

Social media encourages the construction of a curated self. 

Turkle’s interviews reveal how exhausting this performance can be. People feel pressure to present a filtered identity — always interesting, always responsive, always “on.”

This constant self-monitoring diminishes authenticity.

Technology Is Not Neutral

Perhaps the most profound takeaway is that technology shapes us as much as we shape it. Design choices influence behavior. Notifications, likes, and message alerts are not accidental — they train attention.

Turkle calls for intentionality rather than rejection. She invites readers to ask:

• What kind of conversations do we want?

• What kind of relationships do we want?

• What kind of culture are we building?

Why This Book Matters

Though published in 2011, Alone Together feels prophetic. It anticipated many of today’s concerns: digital loneliness, teen mental health struggles, screen addiction, AI companionship, shallow political discourse, and decline of civic trust.

Turkle’s strength lies in storytelling. Rather than relying only on statistics, she shares human voices — children, parents, professionals, elders — and lets readers hear the tension in their words.

Final Thoughts

Alone Together is not just a book about technology — it is a book about what it means to be human.

Turkle does not call for abandoning our devices. She calls for reclaiming conversation, solitude, and presence. She invites readers to become more reflective about how they engage technology — and how that engagement shapes their relationships.

If you care about community, belonging, empathy, civic health and the future of relationships, this book is essential reading.

In a world of constant connection, Turkle reminds us that depth still requires effort — and that meaningful community begins not with bandwidth, but with attention.

WRITTEN BY

David L. Burton

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