Only 3 in 10 Know Their Neighbors. What That Tells Us—and What To Do About It

 

A recent national survey highlighted in a Rocket Mortgage media release revealed something both surprising and deeply familiar: Only 3 in 10 Americans say they know their neighbors beyond a casual level.

At the same time, most people say they want a stronger sense of neighborhood connection.

That gap—between desire and reality—is where the story of neighboring in America is being written right now.

The Great Disconnect

The data paints a clear picture:

• Only about 30% of Americans have meaningful relationships with neighbors 
• Only a quarter know most neighbors by name 
• Just 17% actively try to connect with neighbors 
• Meanwhile, nearly 80% say strong neighborhoods improve quality of life.

This isn’t apathy. It’s something more subtle. Most people aren’t opposed to connection—they’re just not initiating it.

In fact, more than half of respondents say they’re open to interaction, but only if it “happens naturally.” In other words: We’re waiting on each other.

What’s Holding Us Back?

The survey points to several barriers that feel incredibly familiar:

• Privacy culture – People don’t want to intrude.
• Time pressure – Life feels too busy.
• Awkwardness – Nearly a quarter say reaching out feels uncomfortable.
• Assumptions – 42% believe others prefer to keep to themselves.

Add to that a broader cultural shift: Nearly half of U.S. households are now “solo households,” meaning more people are living alone than ever before.

We are more physically near each other—and socially distant—at the same time.

The Encouraging News

If the numbers stopped there, the story would feel discouraging. But they don’t.

Because alongside the disconnection is a powerful truth:

• People want connection more than they used to
• Neighborly actions are still common
• Small acts of kindness still carry weight

In fact, nearly 7 in 10 people report helping a neighbor or being helped in the past year.

That means the foundation is still there. The instinct hasn’t disappeared. It’s just waiting to be activated.

The Lesson: Neighboring Is Not a Capacity Problem—It’s an Initiation Problem

This may be the most important takeaway from the survey: The issue isn’t that people don’t care. The issue is that people don’t start.

And when no one starts, nothing happens.

But when one person does—even in a small way—it changes the dynamic.

A wave becomes a conversation. A conversation becomes recognition. Recognition becomes trust.

This Is Where Your Work Matters

If you’ve been following the momentum around neighboring—whether through Missouri Good Neighbor Week or the recent Tournament of Neighboring—this research confirms what you’ve been saying all along: Small, intentional acts are not trivial. They are catalytic.

Think about it:

• Learning a neighbor’s name.
• Offering a simple greeting.
• Checking in during a hard season.

These aren’t just nice gestures. They are interventions into a culture of hesitation.

A Clear Invitation

So what do we do with this? We don’t wait for a national trend to reverse. We don’t wait for everyone else to go first. We take responsibility for one simple shift: We become the initiator.

Start small:

• Learn one new name this week.
• Say hello instead of looking down.
• Choose curiosity over assumption.
• Host a simple gathering.
• Identify a club in your community to join.

Because the research tells us something hopeful: Most people are ready for connection. They’re just waiting for someone to go first.

The Bigger Picture

If only 3 in 10 Americans know their neighbors, that’s not just a statistic. It’s an opportunity to rebuild something that has quietly eroded. An opportunity to strengthen belonging, reduce loneliness, and increase trust—right where we live.

And maybe most importantly: An opportunity to prove that neighboring is not outdated. It’s essential.

Final Thought

We often look for big solutions to big problems. But this research points us in a different direction.

The path forward isn’t complicated. It’s personal. It starts at the edge of your driveway. On your sidewalk. Across your street.

Because what we’re really learning is this: America doesn’t need better neighbors. America needs more people willing to act like one first.

Rocket Mortgage ran an advertisement during the Super Bowl about neighbors that I wrote about in this blog.

WRITTEN BY

David L. Burton

Take the Engaged Neighbor pledge and become part of a movement! The pledge outlines five categories and 20 principles to guide you toward becoming an engaged neighbor. Sign the pledge at https://nomoregoodneighbors.com. Individuals who take the pledge do get special invitations to future events online and in person. Contact the blog author, David L. Burton via email at dburton541@yahoo.com.