When Growing Belonging It Takes More Than New Infrastructure

 

A read a book back in 2019 called the Turquoise Table and thought the answer for connecting residents in my neighborhood had been discovered! I got some grant monies and opened up applications for free picnic tables that would be painted Turquoise, for any neighbor willing to have one in their front yard. 

Just like in the book, these additions to our infrastructure were going to become gathering spots.

One family moved six months after getting one. Another family decided, after one summer, that they were too busy for a table. Another family has never used their table. And yet answer asked to have their table moved to the nearby park (where it is used regularly).

The lesson for me: infrastructure does not create belonging by itself. It creates a place for belonging to happen and an opportunity but interaction (and impact) is still up to people. Those tables were never going to make a difference without neighbors willing to host events at them and use them on a very regular basis.

Benches, tables and nicer public spaces only create the conditions where belonging can happen. The actual belonging comes from human interaction, not infrastructure.

A useful way to think about this comes from Ray Oldenburg and his idea of “third places”—informal gathering spaces like cafés, parks, or stoops. These spaces matter because they make casual, repeated interaction possible. Or access and read my University guide sheet: "Creating Third Places for Connection and Belonging."

Tables and benches and gathering spaces only work when people actually use them in ways that lead to recognition and familiarity.

What physical design does (and doesn’t do)

Benches, plazas, and walkable areas help by:

• Increasing visibility (you see the same people regularly).
• Allowing lingering instead of just passing through.
• Lowering the barrier to casual interaction (a nod, a quick comment, sharing space).

But design alone tends to produce co-presence, not connection. People can sit next to each other every day and still remain strangers.

Where belonging really starts: weak ties

Research from people like Mark Granovetter shows that weak ties—acquaintances, familiar faces, “people you recognize but don’t know well”—are incredibly important for social cohesion.

Belonging often grows in stages:

1. Recognition (“I’ve seen you before”).
2. Micro-interactions (nods, small talk, shared moments).
3. Weak ties (knowing names, light familiarity).
4. Stronger ties (optional, but not required for belonging).

Most communities stall between steps 1 and 2—even if the physical environment is excellent.

The missing layer: social activation

If your consultant (or project advisor) is focused mostly on physical improvements, they are addressing only one side of the equation. The other side is programming and norms—basically, giving people reasons and permission to interact.

Things that actually convert space into belonging:

• Repeat, low-stakes events (weekly markets, outdoor games, coffee meetups).
• Shared micro-rituals (same dog-walking times, porch culture, school drop-offs).
• Visible participation (people see others engaging and feel it’s normal).
• Facilitated interactions (even simple prompts like “community board questions” or hosted activities).

Without these, even beautifully designed spaces can stay socially “cold.”

There is a balance to aim for. Think of it like this:

• Infrastructure = opportunity
• Interaction = outcome

You need both. If you push only infrastructure, you risk building nice but underused spaces. If you push only interaction without spaces, it’s harder to sustain.

A practical lens for your city

You might evaluate proposals by asking:

• Does this increase the chances that the same people will encounter each other repeatedly?
• Does it encourage people to pause, not just pass through?
• Is there a plan for regular, visible activity in this space?
• Are there small ways to prompt or normalize acknowledgment between neighbors?

If your community has hired a consultant there is a good chance they are recommending changes to infrastructure alone. Well, here are some concrete recommendations that your community could take back to a consultant that ties physical design directly to social outcomes.

These ideas push beyond just "build nicer places.

1. Design for pause + repeat exposure (not just aesthetics)
Push them to design spaces where people naturally stop and return at similar times. Specific asks:

• Place seating along desire paths (where people already walk), not to the side
• Cluster benches in small groupings (3–5 seats facing each other) not rows
• Add “edge seating” (low walls, steps, ledges) for a casual perch
• Ensure there are reasons to return at the same time daily: things like a coffee kiosk pad (even if temporary), dog-friendly features (water bowls, waste stations), or a kid-visible elements (small play features near seating)

Why it matters: You’re engineering repeated, low-effort exposure which are the raw material for weak ties.

 

2. Build in interaction prompts (subtle but intentional). 

Most public spaces assume interaction will “just happen.” It usually doesn’t. Specific ideas:

• Rotating community question boards: What’s one good thing that happened this week?” Or “Best local food spot?”
• Chalkboard walls or writable surfaces.
• “Take one / leave one” micro-libraries or item shelves.
• Game tables (chess, checkers) with pieces available on-site.

Key instruction to consultant: Don’t make these decorative. Rather place them where people naturally wait or linger.

3. Require a programming layer (this is the big gap) 

If they don’t include programming, the plan is incomplete. Full stop. Ask for a lightweight, repeatable activation plan: Not big festivals. Those don’t build belonging. You want predictable, small-scale repetition. Examples:

• Weekly: Coffee hour (same day/time), Walking group meetup or kids play circle
• Monthly: Outdoor movie night, Mini market (even 5–10 vendors is enough)
• Always-on: Open-use game equipment or Bulletin boards with local postings

Push this framing: “We’re not funding events. We’re funding routines.”

 

4. Create visibility of participation

People join things they see other people doing.

Design tweaks:

• Orient seating and activity areas so they are highly visible from sidewalks/streets
• Avoid hidden or tucked-away plazas
• Include “front-stage zones” where activity is obvious to passersby

Add this requirement:

• Any programmed activity should be visible within 5–10 seconds of entering the space

5. Lower the social risk of interaction

Most people don’t avoid interaction because they’re antisocial—they avoid it because it feels awkward.

Design + policy ideas:

• Allow dogs → natural conversation starters
• Include shared-use elements: water stations, shade structures and moveable chairs (people negotiate space = interaction).
• Avoid overly formal or “precious” design that makes people feel watched or out of place

6. Design for regulars, not just visitors

Belonging comes from seeing the same people, not new people.

Ask the consultant: “What in this plan encourages the same individuals to come back 3–5 times per week?”

7. Add micro-ownership opportunities

People feel belonging when they feel some control over a space.

Ideas:

• Community-managed planters or gardens
• Rotating resident-led activities (sign-up board)
• Adopt-a-bench or block stewardship programs
• Local art rotation (not permanent installations only)

 

8. Build in measurement (this is how you change the conversation)

If you don’t measure interaction, the project will revert to aesthetics.

Ask them to track:

• Average dwell time (are people staying?)
• Repeat users (even observationally)
• Number of informal interactions (sample observation studies)
• Participation in recurring activities

Simple version: “We want to know if strangers start recognizing each other, not just if the space looks better.”

 

9. Pilot before permanent build

Consultants often jump straight to permanent infrastructure. That’s risky.

Push for:

• Temporary installations (pop-up seating, paint, planters)
• 60–90 day pilots with programming layered in
• Adjust based on observed behavior before locking design

 Remember, the goal is to create weak ties and interaction.

WRITTEN BY

David L. Burton

Take the Engaged Neighbor pledge and become part of a movement! The pledge outlines five categories and 20 principles to guide you toward becoming an engaged neighbor. Sign the pledge at https://nomoregoodneighbors.com. Individuals who take the pledge do get special invitations to future events online and in person. Contact the blog author, David L. Burton via email at dburton541@yahoo.com.