We Are Losing More Than Conversations With Neighbors

A recent article from Axios highlighted a troubling trend in American life: fewer people are talking to their neighbors than ever before.

The article, based on new research from the American Enterprise Institute, found that only 41 percent of Americans now speak with neighbors a few times a week, down from 59 percent in 2012. The decline is even sharper among young adults. In 2012, just over half of Americans ages 18–29 regularly engaged with neighbors. Today, that number has fallen to only 25 percent.

Those numbers should stop us in our tracks.

For years, many of us assumed neighboring was simply part of American culture. We believed neighborhoods naturally created connection. But modern life is teaching us something different: neighboring no longer happens automatically.

The Axios article points to several reasons for the decline. Technology allows people to stay entertained, informed, and connected without ever leaving their homes. Streaming services, food delivery, remote work, online shopping, and social media have made it possible to build an entire lifestyle that requires very little interaction with the people living nearby.

Daniel Cox, one of the lead researchers quoted in the article, described homes as becoming “entertainment bunkers.” That phrase may sound dramatic, but it captures an important reality. Many Americans are spending more time at home than previous generations while simultaneously becoming more isolated from the people living around them.

The consequences go far beyond loneliness.

Neighboring has always served as a kind of social glue. Strong neighborhoods help create trust, safety, resilience, and belonging. Neighbors notice when something feels wrong. They help one another during emergencies. They watch over children, check on older adults, share tools, exchange information, and create the informal support systems that hold communities together.

Without those small interactions, neighborhoods become less human.

One of the most important insights in the article is that neighboring exposes us to people who are different from us. Unlike online spaces, neighborhoods are not carefully curated. Our neighbors may have different political views, religious beliefs, life experiences, or backgrounds. Yet learning to live together despite differences is one of the foundations of civic life.

Digital spaces often move us toward people who already think like we do. Neighborhoods do the opposite. They teach patience, understanding, compromise, and coexistence.

That is why the decline of neighboring may also contribute to political polarization. When people stop having ordinary face-to-face interactions, it becomes easier to stereotype, distrust, or fear those who are different.

The research also highlights another challenge facing younger generations. Many young adults move frequently, work remotely, and spend less time in places where casual interaction naturally occurs. Some entered adulthood during the COVID-19 pandemic and missed critical opportunities to build social confidence through everyday interactions.

In other words, neighboring is not just declining. In some cases, people were never taught how to do it in the first place.

But there is still reason for hope.

Neighboring does not require extraordinary effort. Most neighboring begins with simple, repeatable actions. A wave across the street. Learning a name. A short conversation at the mailbox. Sitting on the front porch instead of immediately retreating indoors. Bringing someone’s trash can up from the curb. Checking in during a storm.

Research consistently shows that trust grows through repeated small interactions over time.

The encouraging part is that neighboring behaviors are contagious. One person taking initiative often gives others permission to reconnect as well. Streets can change. Apartment buildings can change. Communities can change.

But someone has to go first.

The Axios article ends with a warning that “the invisible glue of neighborhoods is continuing to erode.” That erosion is real. Yet erosion is not irreversible.

Every wave, every introduction, every shared conversation is a small act of rebuilding the social fabric around us.

And in a time when so many Americans feel disconnected, those small acts may matter more than we realize.

WRITTEN BY

David L. Burton

For more information, visit the Engaged Neighbor website. Take our pledge and become part of a movement! Or subscribe to our newsletter. Access some of the research documents written by David Burton, the author of this blog. Or better yet, purchase one of his books off Amazon. Contact David L. Burton via email at dburton541@yahoo.