Book Review: How to Know a Person by David Brooks


David Brooks’ book, How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen, is an insightful and thought-provoking guide to building meaningful relationships. In a world where people often feel disconnected, Brooks explores how we can truly see, understand, and connect with those around us. He offers practical advice, personal stories, and research-backed insights to help readers become better listeners, better friends, and better human beings.

Three Key Insights from the Book

One of the most powerful lessons in How to Know a Person is the importance of deep listening. Brooks explains that most people listen just to respond, rather than to understand. He encourages readers to slow down, ask thoughtful questions, and truly focus on the person speaking. By listening with empathy and curiosity, we can make others feel valued and build stronger relationships.

Another important takeaway is that everyone has a story. Brooks reminds us that people are shaped by their experiences, struggles, and dreams. Instead of judging others too quickly, he encourages readers to approach people with kindness and an open mind. He shares examples of how taking the time to learn someone’s story can lead to unexpected friendships and deeper human connections.

A third key insight is that making others feel seen and heard is one of the greatest gifts we can give. Brooks talks about the power of small moments—remembering someone’s name, asking about their interests, or simply acknowledging their feelings. These small acts can have a big impact, making people feel respected and valued in a world that often moves too fast.

Two Downsides of the Book

While How to Know a Person is full of great insights, one downside is that some parts feel repetitive. Brooks often repeats similar ideas in different ways, which can make certain sections feel slower than necessary. Some readers might wish for a more concise approach.

Another drawback is that the book tends to focus more on personal reflection rather than offering clear, step-by-step guidance. While the stories and examples are inspiring, some readers may want more specific strategies on how to improve their ability to connect with others in everyday life.

Final Thoughts

Overall, How to Know a Person is a thoughtful and meaningful book that encourages readers to build stronger, more genuine connections. Brooks’ message is clear: by truly listening, seeking to understand others, and showing kindness, we can make the world a more compassionate place. Even with some repetition and a less structured approach, the book is a valuable read for anyone who wants to deepen their relationships and better understand the people around them.

Written by David L. Burton

MORE INFORMATION

Take the Engaged Neighbor pledge and become part of a movement! The pledge outlines five categories and 20 principles to guide you toward becoming an engaged neighbor. Sign the pledge at https://nomoregoodneighbors.com. Individuals who take the pledge do get special invitations to future events online and in person. Contact the blog author, David L. Burton via email at dburton541@yahoo.com or visit his website at http://engagedneighbor.com.


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