Ask Americans what makes someone a good neighbor and you might expect answers such as helping when someone is sick, welcoming a new family or checking on an elderly resident. My research in Missouri suggests otherwise. In statewide surveys I conducted through University of Missouri Extension in 2022 and 2024, 2,000 adults each year were asked what qualities make someone a good neighbor. The leading answer both times was essentially the same: Respect my privacy. In the 2024 survey, 71% selected respecting privacy as a characteristic of a good neighbor. Sixty-five percent selected being quiet. Apparently, the ideal neighbor is someone we barely notice. Courtesy and respect for boundaries are virtues. Nobody wants the fellow next door mowing at midnight or appearing uninvited at the dinner table. But our definition of neighborliness has drifted from relationship toward avoidance. We have confused leaving people alone with loving our neighbors. That distinction matters. Harvard psychiatris...

  What happens when a television show comes to town and offers to help transform your community? For Fort Morgan, Colorado, the answer is complicated and that may be what makes its story so useful for anyone interested in community development. In 2022, Fort Morgan, a community of about 12,000 people roughly 80 miles east of Denver, was selected from about 5,000 applicants for the second season of HGTV’s Home Town Takeover . The show eventually completed 18 projects involving homes, businesses and public spaces. The six-episode season aired in 2023.  Nearly three years later, reporter Tracy Ross returned to Fort Morgan for an excellent Colorado Sun article examining what lasted . The story is not one of either spectacular success or embarrassing failure. Some things worked. Some did not. Some businesses benefited tremendously. Some projects deteriorated. And some of the most important results may have had little to do with paint, buildings or television. I think there are seve...

  A proclamation may be a piece of paper, but the message behind it is much bigger: Being a good neighbor matters here. That message is being delivered by Missouri communities as we approach Missouri Good Neighbor Week, Sept. 28–Oct. 4, 2026. So far, I have received proclamations from communities across the state, including Republic, Forsyth, Fremont Hills, St. Peters and Kirkwood . I know of about six others that are pending. Each has put its own touch on the proclamation, but together they make an important statement about the kind of communities Missourians want to build. Missouri Good Neighbor Week was established by the Missouri General Assembly and signed into law in 2022. This year's theme, “A Year of Neighboring Activity. A Week to Celebrate It,” reflects our growing emphasis on making neighboring something we practice throughout the year, while using Sept. 28–Oct. 4 as a statewide celebration. ( MU Extension ) Why Proclamations Matter Earlier this summer, I challenged eve...

Missouri Good Neighbor Week has always been about more than being friendly. It is about doing something. From Sept. 28 through Oct. 4, Missourians will perform acts of neighboring, gather with people who live nearby, serve their communities and find creative ways to strengthen local connections. And this year, University of Missouri Extension councils and partners across the state are helping lead the way. The projects look different from one community to another. That is exactly the point. Good neighboring should reflect the people, opportunities and needs of a particular place. In Greene County , the Extension Council is using food as a reason to gather. Council members will host a special Table Together potluck at the Springfield Botanical Center with Extension Council members, county commissioners, parks leadership and others. But the most important thing on the menu may be conversation. Participants will take part in a “Head, Heart and Hands” activity to discover the talents and s...

  I have spent a surprising amount of time lately thinking about Jenga blocks. Not because I have suddenly become competitive at family game night, but because I have been developing an educational activity called Social Capital Jenga: Building, Breaking, and Restoring Neighborhoods . And to be honest, because I had 108 blocks to paint (both ends in assorted colors). The idea is simple. A Jenga tower represents a neighborhood. The individual blocks represent things that contribute to community strength—trust, economic development, neighborhood safety, the environment and personal health. Other blocks represent pressures on a community, including individualism, greed, mobility and scarcity. Then there are cards describing things that happen in real neighborhoods. Depending on what happens, players may remove a block, add a stress block, return a block or leave the tower unchanged. Eventually, of course, the neighborhood falls. That is where the lesson begins. Communities Rarely Coll...

  One of my favorite Seinfeld episodes contains an unexpectedly good lesson about neighboring. In Season 9, Episode 3, “The Serenity Now, ” Kramer gets an old screen door from George’s parents and decides to install it outside his apartment. Of course, Kramer cannot simply put up a screen door. He transforms the hallway into his vision of small-town America. There are lawn chairs. Flowers. Wind chimes. An American flag. Even a barbecue grill. Kramer calls it “Anytown, U.S.A.”  Suddenly, an anonymous New York apartment hallway has become a front porch. And Kramer loves it. He waters his flowers, talks about mulching the azaleas, plans a barbecue and greets Jerry with a cheerful, “Hello, neighbor.”  For someone who spends a lot of time thinking about neighboring and the importance of front porches, I find the whole thing hilarious. But then Kramer discovers something important. You cannot have the benefits of neighborhood life without also having neighbors. The Front Porch...

I want to ask you to imagine something with me.  What if Missouri Good Neighbor Week became much more than a week on the calendar? What if MU Extension became the spark that helped create a statewide movement of people intentionally connecting with the neighbors who live right around them? Think about the network we already have. MU Extension has approximately 300 employees across Missouri. We also have 114 county Extension councils. If we conservatively imagine an average of 15 council members per county, that represents another 1,710 community leaders. Add the 114 county office secretaries, and we have a potential network of approximately 2,124 people connected directly to MU Extension. Now imagine that every one of those people simply reached out to eight neighbors during Missouri Good Neighbor Week. That’s 16,992 individual acts of neighboring . Sixteen thousand nine hundred ninety-two opportunities to introduce ourselves to someone next door. To check on an older...

  We talk a lot about the importance of gathering with other people. We encourage neighbors to share meals, meet for coffee, attend community events, take walks, or simply spend more time together. But every gathering has to begin somewhere. Usually, it begins with an invitation. And that invitation can be harder than it sounds. We hesitate because we don't want to impose. We worry the other person might say no. We convince ourselves they are probably busy. Sometimes we settle for a vague, "We should get together sometime," which sounds friendly but rarely results in anything actually happening. There is an art to a good invitation, but it isn't complicated. In fact, some of the best invitations have five simple characteristics. 1. Invite a Specific Person Good invitations are personal. Instead of sending a broad message and hoping someone responds, think of one particular person. A neighbor. A coworker. Someone you met recently. Someone you've been meaning to get...