Are We Addicted to the Negative?

Missouri Good Neighbor Week may offer us something we desperately need but rarely recognize: permission to look away from the constant cascade of negativity.

I was reminded of that this weekend when I logged onto Facebook to post about Missouri Good Neighbor Week. I visited 14 different community pages on social media, inviting people to share positive stories about neighbors helping neighbors.

I knew I had stiff competition.

On those same pages were posts about development, traffic, schools, city decisions and other community issues. Some were attracting dozens of comments from the usual collection of armchair community planners, engineers, economists and experts.

My posts about neighbors doing good things?

Across 14 pages, they generated a grand total of 18 interactions. And no submitted stories.

That contrast raises an uncomfortable question.

We regularly complain that social media is too negative. We complain that the news is depressing. We worry about division, anger and the loss of community.

Then someone posts something positive, and we scroll right past it to discover what everyone is angry about today.

There is a Biblical proverb about a dog returning to its vomit. It isn't a pleasant image, which is precisely why it works. Sometimes we know something isn't good for us, yet we keep returning to it.

Perhaps our information habits are not so different.

Negativity attracts our attention. Controversy invites a response. Someone posts something outrageous, and suddenly we need to read all 87 comments, perhaps adding number 88 ourselves.

Meanwhile, a story about a neighbor checking on an elderly resident, mowing someone's yard, sharing vegetables, organizing a block gathering or helping a struggling family receives three likes and disappears.

Missouri Good Neighbor Week, celebrated Sept. 28-Oct. 4, offers an alternative.

Maybe this week isn't simply about doing something nice for a neighbor. Maybe it is also an invitation to pay attention differently.

Look for what is good. Notice the person who quietly helps. Tell the story of someone who makes your neighborhood better. Thank a neighbor.

Better yet, become the story someone else wants to tell.

None of this requires ignoring genuine community problems. Good neighbors can disagree, ask hard questions and hold leaders accountable. But a healthy community cannot survive on outrage alone.

What we give our attention to matters. What we talk about matters. And what we celebrate tends to multiply.

So this week, before clicking on the latest community controversy, try something radical.

Look next door. There might be something better happening there.

We would love to receive your positive stories and reports of neighborly actions on the Missouri GoodNeighbor Week website. Report an act of neighboring or just share with us a positive neighboring story.

WRITTEN BY

David L. Burton

For more information, visit the Engaged Neighbor website. Take our pledge and become part of a movement! Or subscribe to our newsletter. Access some of the research documents written by David Burton, the author of this blog. Or better yet, purchase one of his books off Amazon. Contact David L. Burton via email at dburton541@yahoo.