Photo by Jym Wilson in the Springfield Daily Citizen Every so often a neighborhood dispute becomes so odd that it captures public attention. Recently, that happened in Springfield when a resident placed multiple toilet seats in his front yard —reportedly as a form of protest and self-described “artistic expression.” It made for a quirky headline and plenty of chuckles. But beneath the humor is a more important question: Is this what engaged neighboring looks like? I would argue no. Engaged neighboring is about building relationships, not winning arguments. It’s about connection, not provocation. And while toilet seats in the front yard may feel clever to the person installing them, they function less as conversation starters and more as conflict accelerators. There’s an important distinction between being an engaged neighbor and an aggravating neighbor . An engaged neighbor seeks to understand others, even when there’s disagreement. They look for ways to lower the temperature, n...

  Last month I was helping some men in a Springfield neighborhood and the political signs in a yard nearly derailed our service project. The plan had been to change smoke detector batteries for neighbors who were widows, elderly or sick. The group of men embraced the idea, excited to do something for their neighbors that was helpful.  We divided into teams and headed off to our assigned addresses.  The second home my team approached had a yard full of political campaign signs. It caused the man carrying the ladder to stop at the driveway and ask, “Are we sure about this one?” I assured him it would be fine. We rang the doorbell and went in. Not only was this a widow, but she also had an older disabled son she was looking after following surgery. We went about our work. She kept a close eye on us as we moved around the house. She mentioned some other needs around the house. And whenever we got close, her son talked about local sports teams. We finished and left the house. ...

  One of the core principles in my engaged neighbor principles (engagedneighbor.com) is empathy, a significant part of building trust among immediate neighbors.  Many years ago, my wife and I had a dear friend who got home from work and found her husband dead on the front porch. Their house was on a well-traveled street, and we often wondered how many people had seen him fall or lying on the porch and didn’t bother to stop and check or help. In good situations, neighbors are often your first responders because of proximity. But it seems more common for neighbors to pass by and not notice the need of another human. Some say it has to do with being a distracted driver. It probably tells more of a story about our growing self-centeredness and lack of empathy for others. The concept of trust is one of the foundational threads in human society's tapestry, especially in immediate communities. Neighbors, those who reside closest to us geographically, play a vital role in our daily li...