Ask Americans what makes someone a good neighbor and you might expect answers such as helping when someone is sick, welcoming a new family or checking on an elderly resident. My research in Missouri suggests otherwise. In statewide surveys I conducted through University of Missouri Extension in 2022 and 2024, 2,000 adults each year were asked what qualities make someone a good neighbor. The leading answer both times was essentially the same: Respect my privacy. In the 2024 survey, 71% selected respecting privacy as a characteristic of a good neighbor. Sixty-five percent selected being quiet. Apparently, the ideal neighbor is someone we barely notice. Courtesy and respect for boundaries are virtues. Nobody wants the fellow next door mowing at midnight or appearing uninvited at the dinner table. But our definition of neighborliness has drifted from relationship toward avoidance. We have confused leaving people alone with loving our neighbors. That distinction matters. Harvard psychiatris...