Blessing versus Converting: Which is the Best Approach to Loving Your Neighbor?

A loving neighbor must first develop a relationship with their neighbor. A great approach is to be someone who blesses your neighbors, instead of having a sales pitch.

Or as it is sometimes said: you can have an ultimate motive, but you should never have ulterior motives. That means love needs to guide your relationships with neighbors.

Your neighbor doesn’t want or need a sales pitch, and they do not need to be your “pet project.” But odds are they are lonely, looking for connections, and occasionally need help or a good listening ear. 

You could be that person!

Once you know your neighbor well enough to call them or visit with them, what is the next step? That is when you want to be a blessing!

Let me refer you to the book “B.L.E.S.S.: 5 Everyday Ways to Love Your Neighbor and Change the World” written by Dave Ferguson. 

He makes lots of great observations, but this one really caught my eye. 

This study notes the importance to developing a relationship with your neighbors first. This is how Ferguson relates the story:

BLESSERS VERSUS CONVERTERS

That was what the subject line in the email said. I didn’t know who had sent it, but as I read the contents, I could see why he was so excited about his doctoral dissertation. 

The sender shared a single chapter titled “Blessers versus Converters” that cited research based on two teams of missionaries who went to Thailand. While both teams went with similar goals, they carried two distinctly different strategies.

The “Converters” group went with the sole intention of converting people and evangelizing. Their goal was to “save souls.”

The “Blessers” group explained their intention like this: “We are here to bless whoever God sends our way.”

The study followed both the “Converters” and the “Blessers” for two years. At the end of that time, the researchers discovered two key findings:

First, the “Blessers” presence in the community resulted in tremendous amounts of “social good.” According to the study, it appeared that this group contributed to the betterment of society, community life, and the creation of social capital. However, the presence of the “Converters” seemed to make no difference.

The second discovery was that the “Blessers” saw 48 conversions while the “Converters” saw only one! The “Blessers” group saw almost 50 times as many conversions through being a blessing than the group that was only trying to convert the people around it. The bottom line: the best way to accomplish Jesus’s mission of helping people love each other and come to know the love of God is for His people to become “Blessers!”

BE A BLESSING

The contrast of blessing versus converting is a great lesson for anyone who wants to love their neighbors. This lesson is really valuable for churches, in my opinion. However, there is pressure in churches to craft evangelic outreach efforts that emphasize sharing or converting. The focus becomes sharing the gospel (which is a very worthy goal), but when done absent from relationship, it typically fails.

Most American Christians see value and purpose in sharing their witness but do not share because they think people will be mad or have other repercussions. 

One study from Lifeway shared this finding in 2019: More than half (58 percent) of churchgoers feel comfortable in effectively sharing their faith. But most (78 percent) have not shared that faith with anyone over the past 6 months. And more than half (59 percent) say they haven’t invited anyone to church in that same time frame.

Other similar research shows that it is false to believe that American Christians do not witness because they need more training. Instead, they do not witness because they do not know anyone to witness to or do not see value in doing so.

It would be easier to convince American Christians to begin with being a blessing to their neighbors, and research shows it would also ultimately be more effective!

So the needed approach is very clear: be a blessing! 

Extend mercy to your neighbors. Be a good listener and helper. Be the peacekeeper and the joy giver in your neighborhood. Show compassion and mercy and hospitality to your neighbors. When you walk out into your yard, look for opportunities to be a blessing, and God will work on the other details and opportunities for you to share your story.

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Does this article make you interested in taking the Engaged Neighbor pledge? Five categories and 20 principles to guide you toward becoming an engaged neighbor. Sign the pledge online at http://engagedneighbor.com.

Contact the blog author, David L. Burton at dburton541@yahoo.com.