Neighboring and Fear are Incompatible

If an airplane lands at the airport safely, that is not news. 

But when an airplane crashes at the airport, that is breaking news.

The first option is expected, while the second is unusual and tragic. This is an example of why so much of our news veers toward being negative.

This also explains our reluctance to reach out to neighbors in a relationship.

I have a google alert for the word "neighbors" that searches headlines every day across the United States. Perhaps one time a week, I will find a positive headline about neighboring. Most of the time, they read like this:

·       Neighbors call cops on black realtor showing home to a black dad, son (Carson Now).

·       Redwood Shores neighbors are alarmed by sex offenders (San Mateo Daily Journal).

·       Woman Apologizes After Video of Her Criticizing Neighbor's 'Tigger' Flag Viewed Over 10M Times (WBMN-NBC)

·       Man in custody after allegedly breaking into neighbor's home (Seattle Times)

How do these headlines make you feel? Did you feel all warm and fuzzy after you read them, or did you find yourself shopping for a new security system?

We live in an unprecedented time, where we have access to news 24 hours a day. A lot of that news is about the most broken, sick, almost evil things that are going on worldwide.

There are entire shows that are made to mine these stories. When we see those stories repeatedly, it begins to create a low-grade fear that we carry all the time. It begins to impact how we think about others and what we assume about the unknown. This is toxic when it comes to our neighboring relationships.

I remember having a neighbor who was seldom outside, was very shy, and always had facial expressions that looked angry. For some reason, these different narratives, these other stories started to play around in my head. These assumptions began to grow about who this person was and what they were like, and maybe they are just like some of the things that I have seen on the news.

Then one day, I was walking down to the corner, and he happened to be out mowing. I said, "hello." We stopped and had that awkward moment. Then we talked a little bit further. I discovered that he was a widower and did not have any family that lived in our state. He was just timid and lonely and dying for a real relationship.

All of those assumptions that I had made about him had prevented that relationship from happening. I think that's true for a lot of us.

We look around at these different people and begin to build roadblocks that prevent us from taking the next step with a person. Let's be honest, there are some sick people in our world, and there's a chance that one of them lives on your block. But I think we could all agree that there are fewer sick people than we think there are.

I want to encourage you to question some of the assumptions you may have made. Spend time with people who you might not normally.

Fear is about perception, and if left unattended, it will grow inside of us, and it will prevent us from living the kind of life that brings joy. Fear is toxic because it leads to isolation. Isolation, a lack of social connections, is the antithesis of how we were created.

The genius of this principle of getting to know your neighbor is that it brings people closer together and builds trust and opportunities to work together to improve your community.

What would it look like if you just took the next step this week, just began to do something that might enable you to learn a little more about the people who live in that house?