We Are Neighbors

It is important to set goals anytime you begin a new task or habit. Then eventually it is good to have a way to measure your efforts, to see if you are making progress or making a difference.  That is the case with neighboring but how you measure your progress is challenging. It could be based on the new families you know or the long-term impact with families. But generally, we humans like something a little more immediate. According to Brian Mavis, author of The Neighboring Church , you can actually measure neighboring. We also know that in church life, we get more of the things we measure (think attendance and offering here). Measuring your efforts as a neighbor takes a little creativity. Or in this case, it requires an approach called Plus One. The idea originates from the mission field where some friends were working in the Middle East. They told the author they had been frustrated by the slow process and not seeing any fruit. Then another missionary from the area taught them t...

Forty years ago, the doorbell would ring, and my brother and I would all spring to our feet to see you it was. We actually would come sliding across the floor in our sock feet to reach the door first. Mom and dad would answer the door with joy in their hearts to see that a neighbor or someone else visiting from out of town had dropped by unexpectedly to see us! “Well, look who it is!” With excitement, the visitor would be escorted into the house and to the kitchen. There was always some muffins or maybe a pound cake -- which my brother and I were never supposed to touch – sitting under glass and waiting for visitors. Mom would be like, “Oh so glad you stopped by to visit, here have some cake. Do you want some Sanka?” Contrast that to how we respond to a doorbell these days. At our house, if the doorbell rings, we turn the lights off, and everybody hits the floor. I crawl over to the door to try to peek through the glass to see who it might be. Is it a Girl Scout selling cookies? Or...

Growing up in Ash Grove, our neighbor had a dog named Lassie, and she loved fireworks. Specifically, she loved grabbing bottle rockets out of the bottle after they had been lit. But Lassie is the last dog I have known that felt that way about fireworks. I certainly attest that our current dog Otis feels differently. As soon as fireworks start going off in Republic (anytime now), he will refuse to come outside or go on walks. I think part of being a good neighbor is abiding by Republic's law on fireworks: shoot them off on July 4 but not other days. I understand that Independence Day is a day for family get-togethers and fireworks. But the loud bangs are usually not a good fit for family dogs. That is why most experts advise keeping dogs away from the commotion of large crowds and the noise of fireworks. If you are hosting a party or have fireworks, have a safe, quiet place to keep pets so they will not become frightened and hurt themselves. Fireworks make pets uncomfortable...

Performing an act of neighboring is easier than many people imagine. Acts of neighboring are often simple gestures that you help you be a good neighbor, lift up others and make your neighborhood or community a better place to live. Dave Runyon, author of “The Art of Neighboring” sometimes defines it this way: “neighboring means learning the names of the people that live closest to you, using their names, and throwing great social events.”  I have created a list of neighboring examples to help people think about what it could mean in their neighborhood. Do not be limited by this list, just consider it a basic starting point. 1. Go for a walk and bring a small trash bag to pick up trash along the sidewalk. 2. Use sidewalk chalk to write an inspiring message on the sidewalk in front of your home. 3. Ask an elderly neighbor or parent with young children if you can pick up items for them while you’re at the store. 4. If you play a musical instrument, give invitations to your nei...

Amid the hustle and bustle of our lives -- where we run from one appointment to another, one ball game or movie to another, and still require time to check our Facebook feed -- what would you do if a lonely neighbor reached out to you for friendship? Say, for example, that a widow living near you asked you to be her friend and come visit regularly? Or what if a neighboring couple was struggling with their marriage and asked for help and advice? Perhaps a neighbor's family finds themselves struggling when a parent loses a job. Would you have time to help in any of these situations? Or is this part of the reason you do not want to get involved with your neighbors?  Some research from 2016 by State Farm shows that nearly one-third of people do not connect with their neighbors because they do not want the "mess." I'd say the majority of people who do not connect with neighbors simply do not want to invest their time in anyone else. I think we call that selfishness. Well t...

When meeting your neighbors, manners expert and author Thomas P. Farley says it is essential to take off the headphones and stop walking around looking at a phone. "Both of those suggest that you want to be in your bubble and do not want to meet anyone new," said Farley. The second thing is to focus on the easy things to start conversations. There are two things that people love talking about: their pets and their kids. "The final thing I would say is to make an effort to remember people's names. People love the sound of their name and hearing their name, and if you meet somebody, write their name down," said Farley. Farley says people also enjoy speaking about themselves. So, you do not have to be a sterling conversationalist to be able to carry a conversation. You need to show some interest and be inquisitive and ask open-ended questions. "So, as long as you come with an open mind and you're prepared to show genuine interest in that person, ...

Manners expert Thomas P. Farley says our “issues” with neighbors typically arise because we do not know the person.  “You’ve never even had a conversation with your neighbor. Maybe you grunt as you pass them on the street, or you give a cursory wave as you pull out of your driveways, and that’s the extent of it,” said Farley. But to resolve neighbor problems or issues, a closer relationship is required. “It starts with if we can consider our neighbors to be friends, we’re building communities, we start building bonds, we have less frustration. The research shows that we’re seeing so many issues these days because we’re such a transient population. People move more than they ever did,” said Farley. Neighbors who stay put and raise kids together, you have a vested interest in keeping the community safe and clean and welcoming.  If you are connected as neighbors, you’re not just a group of ghosts passing one another as if you don’t exist, you’re friends, you’re colleagues, you’re...

  Jesus told us to love our neighbors the way we love ourselves (Mark 12:31).  How do we do that when many times we do not even know our neighbor's names?   I think about my neighbors a lot, especially when I am outdoors   Sometimes I think, wouldn’t it be nice if I mowed my neighbor’s yard?  Then I think, yeah, when I get done mowing my yard then I will mow his yard.  The problem is by the time I am finished with my yard, this old body is too tired to mow an extra yard.  We call these kinds of thoughts “good intentions” and the road to both heaven and hell is paved with them.  One day I will stand before Jesus (2nd Corinthians 5:10) and my good intentions are going to burn up.  God calls these things “wood, hay and stubble (1st Corinthians 3:12 & 13) .”   I can see myself standing in front of Jesus in Heaven and He says, “David, it’s good to see you.  Show Me what you’ve got?”  So I share with Jesus the stuf...