Actions Make Neighbors Engaged, Not Just Good

Several residents near my hometown reported neighborhood gatherings, acts of service, and other “acts of neighboring” to our website during Missouri Good Neighbor Week.

Eight residents in my part of the county were nominated as the “most engaged neighbor” in this county. These nominees did things like mow yards of elderly neighbors, take care of a sick neighbor, fix a neighbor’s car and even host an annual neighborhood cookout.

Those actions remind me of the actions that make a neighbor “engaged.”

An engaged neighbor understands the importance of helping when needed, sharing a cup of sugar when asked, and happily lending a solid back or a listening ear.

An engaged neighbor is willing to share their backyard firepit with the nearby residents.

An engaged neighbor is willing to share a conversation, laugh or a tear over a freshly brewed cup of coffee (or tea).

An engaged neighbor finds joy investing in those around them and takes the time to learn and use the names of those that live near them.

An engaged neighbor is a giver and performs kind deeds without being prompted.

Engaged neighbors understand they do not have to become your best friend. But engaged neighbors also know a smile, and using names goes a long way toward building a relationship.

An engaged neighbor knows how to be a quiet neighbor. They don’t mow their lawn at 7 a.m., don’t honk their horn every time they pull into the driveway, and they keep their music down past 9 p.m.

An engaged neighbor finds excuses to do more front-yard living. They also make themselves available for conversations and connections with neighbors. Just being visible in your front yard can lead to conversations or opportunities to serve. 

My wife and I call this the "ministry of being available."

Neighboring is an opportunity to be thankful for those living nearest us, a chance to be a blessing or generous, and an opportunity also to receive. You will likely be surprised by the unique gifts of the people that live near you if you take the time to get to know them!

An engaged neighbor knows that the opposite of loving their neighbor is not hate, it is apathy. If you really want to love your neighbors, start by learning and using their names! Then find ways to do life together.

An engaged neighbor invests in the neighborhood, attends homeowners meetings (if there are any) and is serious about watching and protecting their neighbor's property.

An engaged neighbor is committed to finding neighborhood solutions, not problems. Anyone can complain but few consider how kindness and forgiveness and mutual respect can solve most neighborhood and community issues.

An engaged neighbor pushes against America's cultural trend of selfishness and isolation. Instead of always picking self-interests (and thinking of their home as a fortress of solitude or refuge) an engaged neighbor recognizes that selfishness destroys relationships, health and community.

An engaged neighbor reaches out to those in the neighborhood that are overlooked, marginalized, disabled, widowed, lonely or forgotten.

An engaged neighbor follows the relational example set for us nearly 2,000 years ago: listen well, ask lots of questions, embrace interruptions, be of service, and share hope.

Being an engaged neighbor can bring out the best in all of us. The good in humankind bubbles up when neighbors form mutual relationships of help and support, kindness and understanding.

This year more than others, we need to be reminded that engaged neighbors help to create good neighborhoods and vibrant communities that are safe, clean and friendly.

###

David Burton is a published author (with books on neighboring coming soon). Learn more at https://www.amazon.com/author/davidlburton