Book Review: Crazy Busy: When Being Too Busy Becomes a Way of Life

 

Ask someone how they are doing these days, and there is a good chance their response will include one word: busy.

Sometimes it is "really busy." Other times it is "crazy busy."

We say it almost automatically. Being busy has become so normal that we rarely stop to question whether it is healthy, necessary, or even productive.

Kevin DeYoung's Crazy Busy: A (Mercifully) Short Book About a (Really) Big Problem challenges that assumption. And he does it in a way that is refreshingly honest, practical, biblical, and occasionally humorous. And I say that even after having read the book five times.

I give this book five stars because DeYoung understands something that many time-management experts overlook: Our problem is not simply that we have too much to do. It is that we often have trouble deciding what we should be doing in the first place.

That is an important distinction for anyone interested in intentional living, stronger relationships, and being a good neighbor.

When Busyness Becomes a Badge of Honor

One of DeYoung's most important observations is that we sometimes wear busyness as a badge of honor.

We complain about our schedules, but we also derive a certain satisfaction from being needed, productive, and constantly occupied.

A crowded calendar can make us feel important.

A full inbox can make us feel indispensable.

And saying we are overwhelmed can become a subtle way of communicating that our lives are meaningful.

As a recovering Type A perfectionist, I understand that temptation.

There is always another project, another meeting, another email, another opportunity, or another good idea that seems worth pursuing.

The challenge is that not every good opportunity is a responsibility.

And not every responsibility is ours to carry.

DeYoung reminds us that busyness is not necessarily evidence of faithfulness, effectiveness, or spiritual maturity.

Sometimes it is evidence that we have lost sight of our priorities.

Pride May Be Part of the Problem

One of the most challenging sections of the book deals with pride.

DeYoung argues that our busyness is sometimes fueled by the desire to please people, prove ourselves, control outcomes, or feel indispensable.

That is uncomfortable because it forces us to look beyond our calendars and examine our motivations.

Why do we say yes to so many things?

Is it because we genuinely believe they are important?

Or because we want others to think highly of us?

Are we serving others, or are we trying to maintain an image of being productive and successful?

These are questions worth asking.

In community development, there is never a shortage of worthwhile projects. Every organization has needs. Every committee has opportunities. Every cause deserves attention.

But no individual can do everything.

Sometimes saying no to a good thing is necessary to protect something more important.

That is not selfishness. It can be wisdom.

We Cannot Do Everything

One of the most liberating lessons in Crazy Busy is DeYoung's reminder that we are finite human beings.

We have limited time, limited energy, and limited abilities.

God did not design us to meet every need, solve every problem, or respond to every opportunity.

This sounds obvious, but many of us live as though we believe otherwise.

We take responsibility for things that belong to other people. We accept commitments simply because someone asks. We confuse being available with being obligated.

DeYoung encourages readers to recognize their limitations and focus on the responsibilities that genuinely belong to them.

I think this has an important application to neighboring.

Being a good neighbor does not mean becoming responsible for every problem on your street.

It does not mean saying yes to every request or sacrificing every personal boundary.

Healthy neighboring requires kindness, generosity, and availability, but it also requires wisdom.

We cannot be everything to everyone.

We can, however, be intentional about caring for the people God has placed near us.

The Danger of Distraction

DeYoung also examines the ways technology contributes to our busyness.

The internet and digital communication have created a world in which information, entertainment, and requests for attention are almost unlimited.

We can spend hours responding to messages, following online conversations, and consuming information without ever feeling finished.

And because there is always something new, it becomes difficult to disengage.

This is especially relevant to the work of building stronger neighborhoods.

We can know what people across the country think about politics, sports, and current events while knowing almost nothing about the family across the street.

We can maintain hundreds of online connections while struggling to develop a meaningful relationship with someone living 100 feet away.

Technology is not inherently the enemy. But it can consume the time and attention that relationships require.

DeYoung's advice challenges us to ask whether our digital habits are helping us fulfill our responsibilities or distracting us from them.

Sometimes the best way to become more connected is to disconnect from a screen.

One of His Best Lessons: Accept the Seasons of Life

I appreciate that DeYoung does not pretend every form of busyness is bad.

There are seasons when life is genuinely demanding.

Raising children, caring for aging parents, managing a crisis, starting a new job, or meeting an important deadline can create unavoidable pressures.

The goal is not to eliminate every demanding season.

The goal is to recognize the difference between necessary responsibilities and unnecessary overload.

This distinction matters because some advice about slowing down can sound unrealistic to people with significant obligations.

DeYoung acknowledges that life requires work, sacrifice, and service.

His message is not that we should abandon responsibility.

It is that we should stop creating unnecessary burdens while neglecting the responsibilities that matter most.

The Most Important Appointment

Perhaps the most distinctly Christian lesson in Crazy Busy is DeYoung's emphasis on spending time with God.

He argues that our spiritual lives cannot remain healthy if prayer and Scripture are continually pushed aside by more immediate demands.

DeYoung points readers toward the biblical account of Mary and Martha in Luke 10.

Martha was occupied with the responsibilities of hospitality, while Mary sat listening to Jesus.

Martha's work was not inherently bad. But Jesus identified something more important that she was missing.

The lesson is not that serving others is unimportant.

It is that activity, even worthwhile activity, can distract us from what matters most.

For Christians, this means our relationship with God must shape our priorities rather than becoming one more task squeezed into an already crowded schedule.

And I believe that principle extends into our relationships with others.

We need to be careful that our efforts to accomplish good things do not crowd out our opportunities to love people well.

What Crazy Busy Teaches Us About Neighboring

One of the recurring challenges I encounter in promoting intentional neighboring is the belief that people simply do not have enough time.

They want to know their neighbors.

They recognize the importance of community.

They understand that strong relationships contribute to healthier and more resilient neighborhoods.

But they are busy.

And so neighboring becomes something they intend to do eventually.

DeYoung's book challenges that way of thinking.

If we wait until our schedules are empty, we may never develop the relationships we say are important.

Instead, we must make intentional choices.

Consider the five practices of the Engaged Neighbor Program.

See and Be Seen: This requires slowing down enough to notice people instead of rushing from one obligation to another.

Listen and Learn: This requires giving someone our attention without constantly thinking about the next task.

Share and Care: This requires leaving enough margin in our lives to respond when someone needs assistance.

Gather and Grow: This requires making relationships a priority rather than treating social interaction as an optional activity.

Include and Encourage: This requires noticing people who may be overlooked and taking time to help them feel they belong.

None of these practices requires a perfect schedule.

But all of them become more difficult when we are perpetually overwhelmed.

A life with no margin leaves little room for neighboring.

And that should concern us.

Seven Practical Lessons Worth Applying

Here are seven lessons I take from DeYoung's book that can help us live more intentionally.

1. Stop treating busyness as proof of importance. A full calendar does not necessarily mean a meaningful life. Evaluate your commitments according to their purpose, not their quantity.

2. Learn to say no without feeling guilty. Every yes consumes time that could be devoted to another responsibility. Not every good opportunity is your assignment.

3. Recognize your limitations. You cannot meet every need, attend every event, or solve every problem. Accepting that reality can make you more effective in the areas where you are called to serve.

4. Examine your motivations. Sometimes our schedules are driven by pride, fear of disappointing others, or the desire to feel indispensable. Ask why you are taking on another commitment.

5. Establish boundaries with technology. Constant digital engagement can fragment attention and crowd out face-to-face relationships. Create opportunities to be fully present.

6. Protect your most important relationships. Do not assume that family, friends, neighbors, and spiritual commitments will automatically receive whatever time remains after everything else is finished.

7. Create margin for the unexpected. Some of life's most meaningful moments are unplanned. Leave room for conversations, acts of kindness, and opportunities to connect.

These are not seven additional tasks to add to an already crowded schedule.

They are principles for making better choices about the commitments we already have.

Why I Give This Book Five Stars

I give Crazy Busy five stars because it is short, accessible, challenging, and grounded in a realistic understanding of human nature.

DeYoung does not offer another elaborate productivity system.

He does not promise that the right calendar or organizational method will allow us to accomplish everything.

Instead, he challenges us to confront the attitudes and assumptions that make us unnecessarily busy.

That is a much deeper solution.

I also appreciate that the book is rooted in Christian theology without ignoring the practical realities of everyday life.

DeYoung understands that work is good, responsibility matters, and serving others is important.

But he also understands that our lives become distorted when activity replaces purpose.

The book is especially valuable for leaders, volunteers, pastors, parents, and anyone who struggles to distinguish between worthwhile opportunities and genuine obligations.

My Final Takeaway: A Full Calendar Can Leave an Empty Neighborhood

Here is the connection I keep coming back to.

We can fill our lives with good activities while leaving little room for the people who live around us.

We can be active in organizations, involved in programs, and committed to worthwhile causes while remaining strangers to our closest neighbors.

That is a troubling possibility.

One of the great lessons of Crazy Busy is that the solution to an overcrowded life is not necessarily better time management. It may be better priorities.

And if we believe that relationships, belonging, and community matter, then our calendars should reflect those values.

Maybe that means declining another commitment.

Maybe it means putting down the phone.

Maybe it means spending a Saturday morning visiting with a neighbor instead of completing another project.

Or perhaps it means recognizing that some of the most meaningful things we accomplish in life will never appear on a to-do list.

A stronger neighborhood does not require us to be available every minute of every day.

But it does require us to be available sometimes.

And sometimes is difficult to find when we are always crazy busy.

WRITTEN BY

David L. Burton

For more information, visit the Engaged Neighbor website. Take our pledge and become part of a movement! Or subscribe to our newsletter. Access some of the research documents written by David Burton, the author of this blog. Or better yet, purchase one of his books off Amazon. Contact David L. Burton via email at dburton541@yahoo.