Time to Examine Yourself: Are You a Good Neighbor?

Finding a good neighborhood to call home is an accomplishment for many people. Just Google “great neighborhoods” and pages of results will appear. Multiple websites have been developed to find the best neighborhoods, greatest schools, and safest communities. But what qualifies these neighborhoods as being good and how can we make our own neighborhoods better? Tim DeTellis, author of “Good Neighbors Make Great Neighborhoods,” believes great neighborhoods begin with people taking agency as neighbors.  

In his TEDx Eustis, Florida talk “Are You a Good Neighbor”, Tim DeTellis admits he wasn’t always a good neighbor. His lifestyle and career had limited Tim’s interactions with his local community. He’d often come home after traveling for work and isolate himself in his house. Habits like these had created a divide between Tim and those living closest to him. He had neighbors to his left and right, but he only knew their names.

Tim DeTellis hadn’t always lived in seclusion. Growing up as a missionary’s son in Haiti, Tim was embraced by the Haitian community. This is where he learned what it meant to be a good neighbor. Tim’s first three months in Haiti were spent sleeping under tents along a beach, learning the importance of ansanm. Ansanm means “together” in Haitian Creole, but Tim realized the term was an anchor to the people of this neighborhood. The villagers brought a deeper meaning to the word “together”. People in the community eagerly greeted everyone they met, constantly connecting with one another. They even gathered as a community at the shoreline to help pull in the fishing nets. At an early age, Tim learned working together bonded and strengthened the village.

Years after leaving Haiti, Tim slowly forgot the importance of ansanm. Unfortunately, he had created a lifestyle that cut him off from his neighborhood. It wasn’t until Tim and his wife decided to move to a new town, that the idea of community and togetherness returned to his forethought. In their new home, Tim decided to embrace ansanm and become a good neighbor. His intentional decision to change his ways began with the simple action of greeting people in his neighborhood. Tim created a contact in his phone to be shared with his neighbors. The contact had his name, number, and address, but the most defining aspect was the title, “neighbor”. It didn’t take long for Tim’s phone to be filled with eager neighbors ready to create a better community.

Being a good neighbor is more than sharing your contact information. That doesn’t mean becoming a good neighbor is complicated, but it does take intentionality. In his TEDx talk, Tim DeTellis outlines the five pillars he followed to strengthen his own community.

The first pillar is Connection. Greeting neighbors encourages bonds and opportunities to connect. Having contact information saved in your phone can make these simple interactions impactful.

The second pillar is Invitation. Tim talks about his time spent around the table with his neighbors. Food and fun activities naturally bring people together. Find ways to add value to neighborhood interactions.

The third pillar is Celebration. Nothing is too big or small to celebrate in a community. Birthdays, anniversaries, and new puppies are all cause for celebration. These moments of recognition strengthen a neighborhood.

The fourth pillar is Awareness. A good neighbor is aware of both the people and homes in the community. Keeping an eye on a vacationing neighbor’s house or checking in on an unwell neighbor creates a reliable community.

The fifth pillar is Availability. This is the highest benefit of good neighbors. When an emergency arises, being available to help the community creates a neighborhood filled with trustworthy neighbors.

These pillars are a guide to creating a great neighborhood. Tim succeeded in following his guide and no longer lives in isolation. He went from barely knowing his neighbors to monthly neighborhood gatherings. Tim has fostered ansanm in his own community by becoming a trustworthy neighbor who breeds togetherness.

Tim’s journey emphasizes the idea that living in a great neighborhood is not out of one’s control. Great neighborhoods are created by good neighbors. Mindful neighbors that understand the value of ansanm help strengthen their community. It just takes a little intentionality and a friendly “hello” to create a great neighborhood.