Gossip Over Backyard Fence Replaced by Passive Aggressive Social Media

Chatting with your neighbors over the fence used to be one of life's simple pleasures. But millions of Americans now would rather consume gossip at a distance.

One study has found that millions love the passive-aggressive exchanges in their social media feeds on Nextdoor and Facebook and read them for entertainment.

An adult survey found that 56 percent recall passive-aggressive behaviors in their social media feeds and 34 percent described these exchanges as “pure entertainment.”

Millions admitted that they would rather deal with neighbors virtually than in person and prefer to watch arguments unfold online. One in 20 people can’t remember the last time they spoke to a neighbor face-to-face, and less than half said they would stop and chat with them if they ran into a neighbor in the street.

It is apparent that we have a disconnect; in many cases, we have forgotten how to foster relationships with our neighbors.

It can be difficult to be available for our neighbors. Research finds that many don’t have close relationships with people in their local area, which can lead to feelings of isolation.

Here are some tips for fostering good relationships with people in your community.

Small talk can be a good thing.

Find ways to interact with neighbors more regularly so that when situations that bother you crop up, you’ve already got a relationship with them. You can create small talk by staying curious, asking questions, and listening to how they respond.

Keep it short.

Many Americans over-explain things, but keeping your points clear, succinct, and on the topic is important. Preparing what you want to say beforehand is helpful and can help you feel more confident in addressing the situation.

Stop focusing on being right.

Ask yourself how you can see it from their perspective and try focusing on a solution that works for you all. A person can be right only some of the time.

Spread kindness with your words.

I was out for a walk the other day and a neighbor saw me, stopped, and said, “Whoa! What have you been doing? You look like you have lost weight.” I have not been pumping iron and was out walking, hoping to burn a few calories. The greeting was warm, welcoming, and kind! In that instant, my neighbor opened the door to joy and acceptance.We can help someone else feel how my neighbor made me feel, so let’s go out there and spread goodness with our words.

Forget the fence, use the front yard.

Gossip over the fence makes for a funny and familiar cartoon, but what our neighborhoods need now is more front-yard living, and more talk about opportunities. Instead of gossip that tears down a person or an organization, let’s talk about what is strong in your neighborhood, not what is wrong!

My big suggestion for this week: turn off social media and move to the front yard for real face-to-face conversations!