Book Review: Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss

 


Chris Voss’s Never Split the Difference is an exciting and eye-opening book about negotiation, written by a former FBI hostage negotiator. It teaches readers how to negotiate in business, personal life, and even high-stakes situations. Voss’s stories and lessons make it easy to understand and apply his techniques to everyday life.

Five Lessons Learned:

  1. “No” is Not the End, It’s the Beginning – Voss explains that when someone says “no,” it doesn’t mean the conversation is over. Instead, it’s an opportunity to learn more and keep talking. He writes, “‘No’ is not failure. It is an opportunity to clarify what you really want.”

  2. Mirroring Builds Connection – One of the easiest yet most powerful techniques is mirroring, or repeating the last few words someone says. This makes people feel heard and understood, which helps you gain their trust.

  3. Use Tactical Empathy – Understanding how the other person feels can give you an advantage. Voss suggests using phrases like “It seems like…” or “It sounds like you…” to show empathy and encourage openness.

  4. The Power of “That's Right” – Instead of trying to get someone to agree with you, guide them to a moment where they say, “That’s right.” This means they feel understood and are more willing to work with you.

  5. Be Willing to Walk Away – One of the strongest negotiation tools is knowing when to walk away. If you are too desperate to make a deal, you lose power. Voss reminds us, “He who has learned to disagree without being disagreeable has discovered the most valuable secret of negotiation.”

Two Positive Observations:

  1. Engaging Stories from Real Life – The book is full of exciting real-life hostage negotiation stories that make the lessons fun and easy to remember.
  2. Practical Advice for Everyday Life – The negotiation strategies aren’t just for business—they can help in relationships, buying a car, or even asking for a raise.

One Negative Observation:

  • Some of the strategies might feel manipulative if used incorrectly. If someone uses these techniques without empathy, it could come across as insincere or pushy.

Final Thoughts:

Overall, Never Split the Difference is a fantastic book that teaches powerful negotiation skills in an engaging way. Voss’s real-world experience makes his advice trustworthy and practical. Whether you're negotiating at work or in daily life, this book will help you become a better communicator and problem solver.

Written by David L. Burton

MORE INFORMATION

Take the Engaged Neighbor pledge and become part of a movement! The pledge outlines five categories and 20 principles to guide you toward becoming an engaged neighbor. Sign the pledge at https://nomoregoodneighbors.com. Individuals who take the pledge do get special invitations to future events online and in person. Contact the blog author, David L. Burton via email at dburton541@yahoo.com or visit his website at http://engagedneighbor.com.



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