Stop Asking How You Can Help, and Just Help


When a neighbor has a surgery or a family tragedy or a need, what do we often say? We say, "How can I help?" 

Asking what you can do to help someone is a nice gesture, but chances are you won’t get an honest answer. Instead of asking, just act!  

There are many ways to take the initiative and help someone going through a challenging time.

Organizing meals, grocery shopping, and quick visits are all helpful tasks that aren’t too intrusive but mean a lot to the person in need. I was told once that the first gesture should be to deliver paper products like plates and napkins and plastic forks so they do not have to mess with doing a dishes for a while!

Another idea, if there is a need, is setting up a Meal Train online so others can help can also bring relieve and support.

If you’ve ever been in a crisis, you’ve likely heard these words, “What can I do to help?”

I have no doubt that those words are well-intentioned. People and neighbors reach out wanting to make a person feel loved and supported in their time of need. 

But for the person facing a challenger there is a whole host of other things they are feeling in the moment. They are feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and humbled. And they probably cannot imagine organizing anything — even if it would simplify their life overall.

So, the next time you see someone around you going through a difficult moment, try not to utter those 6 common words, “What can I do to help?”

Instead, spring into action! Take on a chore and just do it. Or think of what would help you in that same situation, and do it. Stop asking, and just help.


 MORE INFORMATION

Does this article make you interested in taking the Engaged Neighbor pledge? Five categories and 20 principles to guide you toward becoming an engaged neighbor. Sign the pledge online at http://engagedneighbor.com.

Contact the blog author, David L. Burton at dburton541@yahoo.com.

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