Being an Engaged Neighbor is a Duty

Building strong communities means thinking about how to rebuild the connections within our neighborhoods. With trust between neighbors and strangers at an all-time low, social media dividing our attention and sense of community, and work and money taking up most of our free time, this is not an easy task. 

But it’s still important to think about, and part of this project involves reclaiming a vision of what it means to be a good neighbor.

At its core, being neighborly means taking time to connect with the people who live nearby. Of course, we all agree this includes being friendly: waving, stopping to chat, or agreeing to collect mail when neighbors are away. But for those of us who want to go beyond the occasional hello, it’s worth considering other actions, like inviting neighbors over for meals, hosting block parties, or starting interest groups. 

Not only should we think about going the extra mile, but we should also ask why these actions can have such a big impact on people’s lives.

What makes these moments so special?

I believe the answer has to do with duty. 

The relationships we have with friends and family are partly based on a sense of obligation: we know we’re expected to show up for them in certain ways, and many of these duties are automatic. But with strangers, the lines of duty and obligation are not so clear. 

Besides being polite and respectful, what do we owe our neighbors?

Honestly, probably not much, and that’s what makes neighborliness so powerful.

Strangers don’t technically owe each other attention, inclusion, hospitality, or friendship. Neighbors who prefer not to say hello and quickly go inside aren’t doing anything wrong. It’s the neighbor who chooses to say hello, throw a block party, or invite you to dinner who is making a real difference. 

In other words, it’s because strangers don’t owe us anything that their attention feels like a special gift. 

Written by David L. Burton

MORE INFORMATION

Take the Engaged Neighbor pledge and become part of a movement! The pledge outlines five categories and 20 principles to guide you toward becoming an engaged neighbor. Sign the pledge at https://nomoregoodneighbors.com. Individuals who take the pledge do get special invitations to future events online and in person. Contact the blog author, David L. Burton via emal at dburton541@yahoo.com.

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