The Anti-Social Century: How Solitude is Reshaping America
"The federal government's been looking and asking people about how they spend their time for about 60 years. We've never spent less time socializing or more time by ourselves. ... The individual preference for solitude, scaled up across society and exercised repeatedly over time, is rewiring America’s civic and psychic identity.” - Derek Thompson
How Solitude is Reshaping America
In Derek Thompson’s cover story for The Atlantic, titled “The Anti-Social Century,” he explores a critical yet underappreciated social trend: Americans are spending more time alone than ever before, and this shift has profound implications for our personalities, politics, and overall societal health. Thompson’s work reveals that self-imposed solitude has become a defining feature of 21st-century life, fueled by technology and modern conveniences. While alone time can be restorative, the pervasive and habitual isolation experienced by many Americans is reshaping the civic and psychological fabric of the nation in troubling ways.
A Nation of Solitude
Thompson argues that the rise of solitude in America is not accidental but a product of choices shaped by technological and cultural forces. He writes, “Day to day, hour to hour, we are choosing this way of life—its comforts, its ready entertainments. But convenience can be a curse.” Over the decades, inventions such as the automobile and television began to isolate people by reducing reliance on communal spaces and shared activities. The smartphone, however, has exponentially accelerated this trend, with screens dominating over 30 percent of children’s and teenagers’ waking hours.
In tandem with this technological evolution, Americans are spending far more time at home alone. Compared to 2003, adults in 2023 spent an additional 99 minutes per day in their homes. Thompson highlights that modern home design even caters to this isolation, with apartments optimized for screen use rather than social interaction. This shift is significant because it marks a departure from traditional social structures that once encouraged frequent, in-person interaction within neighborhoods and communities.
The Middle Ring: A Crumbling Foundation
Thompson identifies a crucial consequence of this solitude: the erosion of the “middle ring” (a term first coined by Marc Dunkleman in "The Vanishing Neighbor") of relationships—those with neighbors, coworkers, and acquaintances. While modern technology has strengthened our closest bonds with family and distant connections with online communities, it has weakened relationships with people who are “familiar but not intimate.”
These middle-ring connections are essential, Thompson argues, because they provide a space for “productive disagreement and compromise,” the foundation of a healthy democracy. Without these interactions, the village-like structure of society begins to crumble, leading to what he describes as “a grotesque style of politics” where elections feel like battles against an enemy rather than exercises in shared governance.
Loneliness, Solitude, and the Body’s Cues
An essential point in Thompson’s analysis is the paradox of loneliness in America. Loneliness, he explains, is a biological cue designed to motivate people to seek connection. Yet in the modern world, this cue is often ignored. “The entertainment that we surround ourselves with, the distractions that we surround ourselves with, make us forget to feel lonely,” Thompson writes.
“Loneliness is a biological cue that gets you to get off the couch when you feel like you're too isolated. It's the experienced gap between the isolation you feel and the connection that you want to feel. Loneliness should get people to feel like they're not getting enough out of their life and go hang out with people," wrote Thompson.
Instead of responding to loneliness by reaching out to others, many people retreat further into solitary activities like streaming media or scrolling through social media. This cycle leads to greater isolation over time, even as traditional measures of loneliness do not show a corresponding rise.
Thompson likens solitude to medicine: healthy in moderation but harmful in excess. He writes, “Solitude is beautiful in doses, but too much solitude is bad for us. And right now, we are headed into a future where people are spending more and more time alone with every passing year.” This trend is not only detrimental to individual happiness but also to the broader societal fabric.
The Need for Social Fitness
One of the most compelling solutions Thompson proposes is the idea of a “social fitness” agenda. Just as modern society promotes physical fitness to combat the consequences of caloric abundance, Thompson argues for a parallel emphasis on social fitness to address the consequences of entertainment abundance.
He writes, “Maybe just as we have a fitness agenda for people, we need a social fitness agenda for people.” This would involve encouraging individuals to schedule regular interactions with friends, family, and community members, prioritizing social health alongside physical well-being.
Thompson points to research from Harvard’s long-term study on happiness, which underscores the importance of relationships. Those with strong social connections are consistently healthier and happier in later life, highlighting the necessity of investing in these bonds throughout one’s life.
Relevance Today
Thompson’s analysis is strikingly relevant in today’s post-pandemic world, where remote work, virtual entertainment, and online communication have become the norm. While these changes have provided convenience and flexibility, they have also exacerbated the trend toward isolation. As Thompson notes, “The individual preference for solitude, scaled up across society and exercised repeatedly over time, is rewiring America’s civic and psychic identity.”
The weakening of social ties has ripple effects across many domains. Politically, it contributes to polarization and a lack of understanding between different groups. Psychologically, it increases vulnerability to mental health issues like depression and anxiety. Civically, it diminishes the sense of shared responsibility that underpins a functioning democracy.
A Call to Action
Thompson’s call for a social fitness agenda is a timely reminder that fostering connection requires effort. It is not enough to passively consume entertainment or rely on digital platforms for connection. As he suggests, individuals must actively carve out time for meaningful in-person interactions, just as they would for exercise or other health-promoting activities. Communities and policymakers can support this by creating spaces and opportunities for social interaction, from public parks to neighborhood events.
In a world increasingly shaped by screens and solitude, Thompson’s essay serves as both a wake-up call and a roadmap for reclaiming the social connections that make us human. By prioritizing social fitness and rebuilding the middle ring of relationships, Americans can address the growing crisis of isolation and create a healthier, more connected society.
IMPORTANT LINKS
Video interview with Derek Thompson on CBS News. Watch here.
The Atlantic’s February cover story, staff writer Derek Thompson explores “The Anti-Social Century." Read it here.
Written by David L. Burton
MORE INFORMATION
Take the Engaged Neighbor pledge and become part of a movement! The pledge outlines five categories and 20 principles to guide you toward becoming an engaged neighbor. Sign the pledge at https://nomoregoodneighbors.com. Individuals who take the pledge do get special invitations to future events online and in person. Contact the blog author, David L. Burton via emal at dburton541@yahoo.com.
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