I am Not a Joiner: Why Changing that Narrative is Key to Your Neighborhood


"I am not a joiner." I have said this words before myself.

It’s completely understandable to feel like you’re not a “joiner.” Many people feel more comfortable sticking to themselves. Everyone has different preferences when it comes to socializing and connecting with others. 

However, being involved in your community or neighborhood can have great benefits, both for you and the people around you. Even if you’re not someone who typically enjoys large gatherings or organized events, there are simple ways you can participate that might surprise you. 

Here’s why community involvement is worth considering and how you can ease into it at your own pace.

Building Connections

One of the main reasons to get involved in your neighborhood is to build connections with the people around you. While you may not feel the need to join every event or group, having a sense of connection with your neighbors can make your life more enjoyable. 

Imagine knowing someone you can call when you need help, or simply having friendly faces to wave at when you come home. These connections create a network of support, making you feel more secure and less isolated. 

It’s often the small interactions, like chatting with a neighbor while you’re both walking your dogs or sharing a recipe, that can turn into meaningful friendships.

And do not overlook the ability to build social capital by joining community organizations like Rotary.

Feeling More Connected to Where You Live

Being involved in your community also helps you feel more connected to the place you live. When you take part in local events or even just get to know your neighbors, you start to develop a stronger bond with your surroundings. 

This can make you feel more proud of where you live and more invested in taking care of it. 

For example, a simple neighborhood clean-up or a community garden project can bring people together while improving the area for everyone. Even if you’re not someone who loves big events, doing something small and meaningful can help you feel more connected to your community.

Support During Tough Times

Another important benefit of being involved is the support you can receive from others during difficult times. 

When you are a part of a community, whether it’s through casual conversations or helping out with small tasks, you create a group of people who can offer assistance when you need it. This support system can be especially valuable when you’re going through tough situations, such as illness, a family crisis, or moving to a new area. 

Knowing that there are people you can rely on can make all the difference.

You Don’t Have to Do It All

If you’re not a “joiner,” it’s important to remember that you don’t have to attend every neighborhood event or become overly involved to make a difference. It’s not about being part of every group or committee—it’s about finding ways to participate that are comfortable for you. 

For example, you could choose to attend just one or two neighborhood meetings a year or participate in small, informal activities like a driveway coffee chat or a casual BBQ. Even just helping a neighbor with something simple, like watching their mail while they’re away or lending a tool, is a way to be involved without overwhelming yourself.

Conclusion

Being a part of your community doesn’t mean you have to be a constant “joiner” or attend every event. It’s about making small connections and participating in ways that feel comfortable. 

But joining nothing (no club, no group, etc) is not the best answer either and certainly decreases your social capital.

Whether it’s helping out in small ways, chatting with neighbors, or just being someone who contributes when needed, there are plenty of opportunities for you to get involved without stepping out of your comfort zone. 

Over time, you may find that you enjoy these small connections and that they enrich your life in unexpected ways.


Written by David L. Burton

MORE INFORMATION

Take the Engaged Neighbor pledge and become part of a movement! The pledge outlines five categories and 20 principles to guide you toward becoming an engaged neighbor. Sign the pledge at https://nomoregoodneighbors.com. Individuals who take the pledge do get special invitations to future events online and in person. Contact the blog author, David L. Burton via email at dburton541@yahoo.com or visit his website at http://engagedneighbor.com.

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