Why Missourians Are Choosing to Become Good Neighbor Ambassadors

I have been reading the comments submitted by people applying to become a Missouri Good Neighbor Week Ambassador, and I keep coming back to one conclusion: People are hungry for connection.

They may describe it differently. Some talk about kindness. Others mention belonging, service, safety, community engagement or simply getting neighbors together. But underneath those words is a shared belief that our communities are stronger when the people who live there actually know, care about and support one another.

Perhaps Darla Noble of Greene County described the distinction best: “I believe we are better when we LIVE in our neighborhoods instead of just residing or existing there.”

That is a pretty good description of what Missouri Good Neighbor Week is trying to accomplish.

Moving from proximity to relationship

Being neighbors geographically is automatic. Being engaged neighbors is a choice.

Brandee Collins of Clay County wrote that strong communities are built through “intentional relationships, shared responsibility, and simple acts of care.”

Her work in community engagement has shown her how connection, trust and belonging can help create healthier communities. She wants Missourians to move beyond “simply living near one another” toward genuinely knowing, supporting and caring for the people around them.

That idea appears repeatedly in the applications.

Nick Thiele of Bollinger County believes neighboring “can bring people closer and strengthen communities.”

Lindsey Ellis of St. Francois County described community as “a powerful tool to supporting our neighbors.”

And Brandie Schmidt of Jackson County summed up her motivation in one sentence: “I want my community to thrive with connection and belonging.”

Strong communities and strong people

Several Ambassadors also recognize that the benefits flow in both directions. People strengthen communities, but communities strengthen people.

Chris Cook Phelps of St. Louis City described it as a cycle. Strong communities provide people with support and confidence. Those individuals, in turn, become better equipped to help others.

“A strong community builds strong individuals,” Phelps wrote, “and empowered individuals build an even stronger community.”

Christal Weber of Jackson County sees a similar connection, writing that neighboring builds “capacity and connection” that can make an enormous difference in community health and resiliency.

That is why neighboring is about much more than being friendly.

Relationships create resources. Knowing someone well enough to ask for help is a resource. Having someone check on you is a resource. Knowing who has a skill, tool, connection or piece of information you need is a resource.

Those resources become especially important when communities face challenges.

Kindness can be contagious

Thankfully, building those relationships doesn't always require a program or major event. Sometimes it begins with kindness.

Joey Hayes of New Madrid County wrote that we should do for our communities what we would want others to do for us, adding a wonderful observation: “Goodwill and kindness is infectious.”

Laura Shulse of Marion County wants to spread kindness throughout her neighborhood and community “through words and actions” while encouraging others to do the same.

And Annasten Halford of New Madrid County wants to encourage “kindness and helping our community.”

Those comments remind us that neighboring can multiply. One person's action can influence another person's action. What we model matters.

Teaching the next generation

That is especially true for children.

Emma Alexander of Webster County, a 4-H volunteer, said adults have a responsibility to teach the next generation how to serve their communities and be good neighbors.

“They need our example and our mentoring,” she wrote. “They won't just become outstanding citizens without the practice!”

Jeneé Peryer of Greene County expressed a similar idea. As a parent, she wants to model “kindness, service, and involvement” while helping leave a better world for children.

Then there is Manda Barnes-Cooper of Wright County, who registered her 3-year-old daughter as an Ambassador. Her explanation made me smile. “She's three — my mini-me that goes everywhere with me and is more involved in the community than most adults!”

Maybe we should pay attention to that.

If we want the next generation to value community, service and neighboring, children need to see adults doing those things.

Rebuilding what we've lost

Some Ambassador applications also contain a sense of longing for connections that once existed.

Katy Smith of St. Louis County remembers when her subdivision held National Night Out picnics, holiday parties and decorating contests. Over time, those activities disappeared.

Today, she has a Little Free Library in front of her house and wants to help neighbors reconnect.

“I'd love to get our neighbors re-introduced and a collaborative group again,” she wrote.

Her comment probably describes thousands of neighborhoods. The good news is that rebuilding does not have to start with thousands of people.

It starts with one.

Kristina Tilley of McDonald County offered one of the most memorable observations in all the Ambassador applications: “Neighborhoods are built by people taking an interest in the success of each other. They are destroyed by apathy. I want to do my part to be involved.”

That is the choice before all of us. Apathy or involvement. Isolation or connection.

Simply residing somewhere or actually living there.

Ordinary actions matter

Richard Clemens Jr. of Saline County wrote that his experience as a mayor has reinforced something he already believed: “When neighbors help neighbors, communities thrive.” He pointed to volunteering, supporting local businesses and simply being there when somebody needs a hand.

Those aren't extraordinary acts. That's exactly the point.

Missouri Good Neighbor Week is not built on the idea that everyone needs to launch a new organization or organize a giant community project. It is built on the belief that ordinary acts of neighboring, repeated by thousands of people, can change the social fabric of a community.

Deanna Farrar of Jefferson County wants to “promote the good people do in Missouri” and encourage more of it.

Sharon Jackson of St. Louis County wants “to show how neighborly inspiration can go a long way.”

And Manda Barnes-Cooper wants to create “a sense of community and camaraderie” while encouraging positivity.

That may be the best summary of what these Ambassadors represent. They aren't waiting for somebody else to make Missouri more neighborly. They are deciding to start where they live.

One introduction. One conversation. One invitation. One helping hand. One relationship at a time.

Because stronger communities really do begin with stronger relationships between neighbors.

And those relationships begin when somebody decides to go first.

We are still taking applications to become a Missouri Good Neighbor Week Ambassador. The goal is to get one in every on of the 114 counties in Missouri and no more than 365 total. Apply online today.

WRITTEN BY

David L. Burton

For more information, visit the Engaged Neighbor website. Take our pledge and become part of a movement! Or subscribe to our newsletter. Access some of the research documents written by David Burton, the author of this blog. Or better yet, purchase one of his books off Amazon. Contact David L. Burton via email at dburton541@yahoo.