There is something special about standing in front of Mark Twain’s boyhood home in Hannibal, Missouri, and thinking about the stories that began there. I have long loved Twain’s books. I have been fascinated by his life, his adventures on American rivers and across the country, and his travels overseas. But of all his books, "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer" remains my favorite. As I reflected on the book while standing in Hannibal, it occurred to me that Twain had something important to say about a subject that matters enormously today: how we live with the people around us. Twain was writing about a small Missouri river town in the 1840s, drawing on the people and experiences of his own childhood. His world was different from ours, but the human desires at the heart of his stories have hardly changed. Children still want to belong. People still want to be noticed. We still depend on friendships, shared experiences, and the kindness of others. Perhaps we can learn a f...

Ask Americans what makes someone a good neighbor and you might expect answers such as helping when someone is sick, welcoming a new family or checking on an elderly resident. My research in Missouri suggests otherwise. In statewide surveys I conducted through University of Missouri Extension in 2022 and 2024, 2,000 adults each year were asked what qualities make someone a good neighbor. The leading answer both times was essentially the same: Respect my privacy. In the 2024 survey, 71% selected respecting privacy as a characteristic of a good neighbor. Sixty-five percent selected being quiet. Apparently, the ideal neighbor is someone we barely notice. Courtesy and respect for boundaries are virtues. Nobody wants the fellow next door mowing at midnight or appearing uninvited at the dinner table. But our definition of neighborliness has drifted from relationship toward avoidance. We have confused leaving people alone with loving our neighbors. That distinction matters. Harvard psychiatris...

Dr. Emily Smith’s The Science of the Good Samaritan: Thinking Bigger about Loving Our Neighbors is a thoughtful exploration of the psychology and social science behind compassion, empathy, and helping others. Drawing on a wide range of research, Smith demonstrates how our brains, environments, and habits influence whether we notice and respond to the needs of those around us. The book is well-researched and offers practical insights for anyone seeking to become more attentive and compassionate. One of the book’s greatest strengths is its ability to translate scientific research into practical application. Smith highlights how busyness, distraction, and the “bystander effect” often keep people from noticing opportunities to help others. She also emphasizes that intentional habits of slowing down, paying attention, and practicing empathy make us more likely to respond when someone is in need. These findings are valuable reminders that loving our neighbors requires more than good intenti...

For generations, Americans have liked to believe we are a nation of good neighbors. We tell stories about borrowing sugar across the fence, keeping an eye on one another’s homes, and gathering on front porches after dinner. Many people still assume those habits are alive and well. But recent research suggests something deeper is happening beneath the surface: the idea of neighboring is quietly fading from everyday American life.  A recent article from the American Enterprise Institute examined new survey findings showing that Americans increasingly define being a “good neighbor” not by engagement, but by distance. In other words, many people now believe the best neighbors are quiet, private, and uninvolved. Younger adults especially tend to see neighboring less as relationship-building and more as respectful separation.  That should concern us. Privacy is important. Boundaries matter. No one wants neighbors who are intrusive or disrespectful. But when neighboring becomes litt...

  There’s a disturbing clarity in watching The Perfect Neighbor — a 2025 documentary that has become one of the most talked-about films of the year. Told almost entirely through police body camera footage, 911 calls, and real recordings from Ocala, Florida, the film replays the fatal shooting of Ajike “A.J.” Owens, a 35-year-old Black mother of four, by her white neighbor, Susan Lorincz. What begins as minor complaints about kids playing in a backyard spirals into a confrontation that ended in death, incarceration, and national conversation about race, guns, and community.  Directed by Geeta Gandbhir and released on Netflix after premiering at Sundance, the film has been lauded for its unflinching use of real footage — no dramatic re-enactments, no narrated opinions — leaving viewers to sit in the uncomfortable space of witnessing a slow buildup of fear, resentment, miscommunication, and institutional failures.  As we watch arguments over noise, perceived trespass, and p...