A recent commercial for a pizza chain reprises a classic TV scene where a man walks into an establishment. In the classic version, he is recognized, and everyone calls out "Norm."   In the contemporary version, no one knows his name because he hasn't created an online profile tracked on his phone. In the old neighborhood bar, "everybody knows your name." Now belonging is increasingly mediated through a screen. Eric O. Jacobsen did not anticipate the commercial, which underscores the theme of belonging represented by Norm that runs through his book: "Three Pieces of Glass." Jacobsen contends that the windshield of the automobile, screen of the television, and screen of our smartphones, tablets, and computers, have fundamentally influenced our experience of belonging in society. Jacobsen begins his discussion by exploring the nature of belonging as levels from intimate and personal to social and public and how intimate and personal are not enou...

Several people have recently mentioned their desire to retain the "small town feel" in their city. Sometimes that phrase is used because the town population has grown. Sometimes it is because of increased crime, new faces in the stores, or even proposals for more taxes. The idea of a "small town feel" is sought after, especially in the Midwest. Relators love to talk about the small town feel of a town where they are selling homes. Many communities love to brag about having a small-town feel. One research study had 80% of respondents saying the number one goal of their city should be to "preserve the small town feel." Google helped me find 7,900 United States towns online, saying, "our city has a small town feel." A simple search on Google finds over 518 million posts with the phrase: city has small town feel. The phrase "small town feel" evokes a quiet, laid-back lifestyle in a close-knit community where people know each other, where na...

G. K. Chesterton said: “We make our friends, we make our enemies, but God makes our next-door neighbor.” We are living where we are for a reason because God placed us there to be a light to those around us. That means it is important to know what people consider the most important neighborly traits. I t is important to be respectful and courteous, many people say good neighbors will watch each other’s property and safety and help out with unexpected needs. According to the state farm study (done in 2016), these are the top neighborly traits. In the category they called basic courtesy traits: respect my privacy 80%. Is quiet and does not make excessive noise 72%. Practices good pet etiquette 67%. Takes care of their property 67%. Practices good parking etiquette 59%. Among proactive traits, the top items were as follows. Watches out for neighbors' property 77%. Watches out for their fellow neighbor's personal safety 69%. Helps out a neighbor if there’s an unexpected need 61%. He...

  In most parts of the United States, the days of drawing men to a church for a special event or speaker have waned. Schedules are too busy. Many have resistance to coming to an event at a church. Women often set their husband's social schedules. And in some areas, you need a large budget to produce something that draws people in.  It can also be a daunting task for a group of men to organize events. It is also vital to have an approach that is flexible depending on your number of volunteers, time and budget. We are finding that i n order to have a bigger impact, we have to think smaller. We have to think local. We have to think of neighborhoods. After all, it was Jesus who said the second half of the greatest commandment is to love our neighbors. But we have to know our neighbors' names and actually interact with them before we can love them! In addition, research is showing that younger men do not want more speakers, more meetings or more events but they are excited abo...

My wife and I recently traveled to Tennessee to see your daughter who is working there all summer. On Sunday morning we ventured to downtown Nashville and Broadway Street -- a bucket list destination for our daughter-- to celebrate her 20th birthday.  None of us realized that Broadway never sleeps, or how wild it is when it is awake! Even on Sunday morning the bars were wide open and the music was going full blast. And so was the crowd. It was a reminder -- a stark reminder -- that we live in a lost and fallen world.  People are angry and unforgiving and hurting and searching and lonely and even drunk because they lack a savior and a purpose. People need Jesus. And many times they need a friend first.  That is why I am so committed to a relationship-first approach to neighboring.  God has opened doors to be a gospel light with ministry and each of us can be a light to just our eight most immediate households.  That might not change Broadway Street in Nashville b...

My state Representative Bishop Davidson asked me to testify before the House Committee on Tourism on Feb. 7, 2022. His invitation was the first time I learned that a conversation he and I had several months earlier at a Republic Chamber of Commerce meeting had resulted in him introducing a bill for Missouri Good Neighbor Week. At that Chamber meeting, I explained to him what University of Missouri Extension was doing to encourage action on National Good Neighbor Day (Sept. 28). President Jimmy Carter signed This national holiday into federal law in 1978. Even though National Good Neighbor Day is an actual national holiday, not much has been done with it recently. Other groups like USA Today and Nextdoor have created and marketed their own "neighbor" days at different times of the year, but I felt this September date held a unique opportunity. When Rep. Davidson heard that I had documented nearly 6,000 acts of neighboring in and around Greene County during 2021 (in celeb...

It is important to set goals anytime you begin a new task or habit. Then eventually it is good to have a way to measure your efforts, to see if you are making progress or making a difference.  That is the case with neighboring but how you measure your progress is challenging. It could be based on the new families you know or the long-term impact with families. But generally, we humans like something a little more immediate. According to Brian Mavis, author of The Neighboring Church , you can actually measure neighboring. We also know that in church life, we get more of the things we measure (think attendance and offering here). Measuring your efforts as a neighbor takes a little creativity. Or in this case, it requires an approach called Plus One. The idea originates from the mission field where some friends were working in the Middle East. They told the author they had been frustrated by the slow process and not seeing any fruit. Then another missionary from the area taught them t...

Forty years ago, the doorbell would ring, and my brother and I would all spring to our feet to see you it was. We actually would come sliding across the floor in our sock feet to reach the door first. Mom and dad would answer the door with joy in their hearts to see that a neighbor or someone else visiting from out of town had dropped by unexpectedly to see us! “Well, look who it is!” With excitement, the visitor would be escorted into the house and to the kitchen. There was always some muffins or maybe a pound cake -- which my brother and I were never supposed to touch – sitting under glass and waiting for visitors. Mom would be like, “Oh so glad you stopped by to visit, here have some cake. Do you want some Sanka?” Contrast that to how we respond to a doorbell these days. At our house, if the doorbell rings, we turn the lights off, and everybody hits the floor. I crawl over to the door to try to peek through the glass to see who it might be. Is it a Girl Scout selling cookies? Or...

Growing up in Ash Grove, our neighbor had a dog named Lassie, and she loved fireworks. Specifically, she loved grabbing bottle rockets out of the bottle after they had been lit. But Lassie is the last dog I have known that felt that way about fireworks. I certainly attest that our current dog Otis feels differently. As soon as fireworks start going off in Republic (anytime now), he will refuse to come outside or go on walks. I think part of being a good neighbor is abiding by Republic's law on fireworks: shoot them off on July 4 but not other days. I understand that Independence Day is a day for family get-togethers and fireworks. But the loud bangs are usually not a good fit for family dogs. That is why most experts advise keeping dogs away from the commotion of large crowds and the noise of fireworks. If you are hosting a party or have fireworks, have a safe, quiet place to keep pets so they will not become frightened and hurt themselves. Fireworks make pets uncomfortable...

Performing an act of neighboring is easier than many people imagine. Acts of neighboring are often simple gestures that you help you be a good neighbor, lift up others and make your neighborhood or community a better place to live. Dave Runyon, author of “The Art of Neighboring” sometimes defines it this way: “neighboring means learning the names of the people that live closest to you, using their names, and throwing great social events.”  I have created a list of neighboring examples to help people think about what it could mean in their neighborhood. Do not be limited by this list, just consider it a basic starting point. 1. Go for a walk and bring a small trash bag to pick up trash along the sidewalk. 2. Use sidewalk chalk to write an inspiring message on the sidewalk in front of your home. 3. Ask an elderly neighbor or parent with young children if you can pick up items for them while you’re at the store. 4. If you play a musical instrument, give invitations to your nei...