We Are Neighbors

Imagine sitting down to have a meal with a couple opposite of you in worldview, relationships, religious and political viewpoints. Then imagine the purpose of the dinner is to discuss each other's thoughts and beliefs about the overturning of Roe v. Wade or gun control. Why does this feel far-fetched in our culture today?  In a world where friendships are now more frequently ordered around political ideologies, we are encouraged to look for friends in echo chambers. However, echo chambers present a genuine danger. The person with radically different beliefs who lives in a fundamentally different camp has been created and possesses unmatched dignity and worth. We should not consider them as "less than" or see them as the sum of their opinions. Instead, we should be committed to their well-being. None of that can happen in an echo chamber. Sometimes our fears sideline us. We fear that people will think we are weird or old-fashioned or won't want anything to do with us. ...

Growing up in the small town of Ash Grove, I had my favorite hangouts. Places like the library, Pic-n-Pay (convenience store and video arcade), and the swimming pool. As a student at Drury University, places like the CX, student center game room, student newspaper office, and the basement of Stone Chapel were favorite haunts. But as an adult, I have struggled to find a "hangout." Ridgecrest Baptist Church is the closest thing for my wife and me. We do not belong to clubs or have a favorite regular café. Several years ago, there was a pizza place near my office in Springfield that I decided to visit weekly for lunch and then stay to read and meet people. But, on most visits, I was the only customer there, and eventually, the business closed. My search for a regular hangout (known as a third place in sociology) has been slow. But I know how important it is, which is why I'm looking hard in 2023. I'm open to suggestions. ( Reach me by email ). The existence of "thir...

A few weeks ago I received the 2022 update to the “Christmas Cookie Inflation Index” from a national community development organization. Charles Marohn, founder of non-profit Strong Towns, spends time each year making Christmas cookies. For several years he has tracked the increasing price of cookie ingredients. He provides a chart of his cookie ingredients and costs back to 2019. The chart shows a 12% increase in the cost of making his cookies compared to last year, but a 29% increase since 2019. Granted, his chart is a snapshot of costs where he lives. Our ingredient costs here in western Greene County might have gone up more, or less. That last number is interesting since the official government estimate is of 17% inflation since 2019. Either way, I think anyone who goes to the grocery store and buys food knows their shopping cart is holding less for a lot more money. Marohn’s basket of cookie-baking ingredients in 2019 cost $49.94. If those ingredients rose by just the official inf...

  Humans often turn a blind eye to others in need. But if we are able to reduce the time pressure on people, more of them will help. We see this in a study by social psychologists John Darley and Daniel Batson. They wanted to know why people help in some situations but not others. They decided to study one allegedly charitable group: seminary students training to become priests. The researchers asked each of 67 seminary students to deliver a sermon on the parable of the Good Samaritan,  a Bible story about helping strangers in need. The researchers then randomly assigned the students to one of two conditions.  In the hurried condition, a research assistant concluded the sermon instructions with, “Oh, you’re late. They were expecting you a few minutes ago. We’d better get moving. In the unhurried condition, the research assistant ended the instructions with, “It’ll be a few minutes before they’re ready for you, but you might as well head on over.” Each student walked alone...

  Holiday shopping is in full swing. Whether you are shopping for a gift for family members, co-workers, or neighbors, let me suggest some books as gifts. All of these books share a common theme: neighboring. New neighboring books from 2023 and 2024 would make a nice gift. Allen, Jennie.  Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World . WaterBook. 2023. Hayes, Walker and Craig Cooper.  Glad You're Here: Two Unlikely Friends Breaking Bread and Fences.  Moody Publishers. 2022. Halton, Carissa. "Little Yellow House: Finding Community in A Changing Neighbourhood." The University of Alberta Press. 2023. Kaplan, Seth.  Fragile Neighborhoods: Repairing American Society, One Zip Code at a Time . Little Brown Spark. 2023. Kelly, Kevin Ervin.  Irreplaceable: How to Create Extraordinary Places that Bring People Together . Matt Holt. 2024. Killam, Kasley. The Art and Science of Connection: Why Social Health Is the Missing Key to Livin...

  Henry Wadsworth Longfellow was in despair. The man who most considered America's best poet found his life adrift. His adoring wife had died a tragic death. His son had forged his signature on papers and ran off to join the Union Army near the start of the Civil War.  And Henry sat around his dusty house smelling ether and existing in a daze. For three years, he did not pen a single poem. His pens and paper and books gathered dust instead. This powerful American voice fell silent. Yet there was also a war raging in Henry's heart. How could all of these tragedies happen?  How can I endure? Is God dead, he asked? Many are tempted to ask that same question. Some because of challenges under their own roof. Perhaps illness, or a lost business, or even a child that has left home. Still, others feel despair after watching the evening news or reading headlines in a newspaper. A sampling of headlines today could put your stomach in a knot.  Biden Admin Stonewalling Oversight...