We Are Neighbors

  As the New Year begins, many people reflect on their lives and create resolutions aimed at improving themselves and their communities. One powerful resolution for the year ahead is to focus on loving and connecting with your immediate neighbors.  Building stronger relationships with those who live near you can have a profound impact on your well-being, as well as that of your entire neighborhood and your community. Fostering strong connections with neighbors provides an opportunity for personal growth and can help create a more cohesive, supportive, and friendly environment. It also brings back the sense of community that many feel is lacking in today's society. One resolution might be to simply introduce yourself to your neighbors if you haven’t already. A friendly wave or a brief hello in the hallway can break the ice and make you feel more comfortable in your own neighborhood. If you’ve already met them, try inviting them for a cup of coffee or organizing a small gatherin...

  Arthur C. Brooks' new book, “Love Your Enemies: How Decent People Can Save America from the Culture of Contempt,” offers a timely and thoughtful exploration of the divisive nature of contemporary American politics.  Brooks, former president of the American Enterprise Institute and a professor of leadership at Harvard seeks to provide a way out of polarization by encouraging readers to embrace empathy, civility, and, above all, the radical idea of loving one’s enemies. The book builds on the premise that the growing culture of contempt—where political opponents are seen not just as wrong but as morally inferior—has deeply damaged the fabric of American society.  Brooks argues that this “us versus them” mentality undermines both social cohesion and individual well-being. He examines how this deepening divide has affected not only politics but personal relationships, the workplace, and even families, offering a compelling case for why reversing this trend is critical for o...

John Maxwell wrote a book called The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader . It’s full of lessons about being a good leader. But these lessons are not just for leaders in business or big organizations—they also apply to our neighborhoods!  Imagine a neighborhood where each neighbor as part of a team. It is a place where people trust and respect each other, where problems are solved together, and where everyone feels welcome. It is a powerful idea, and the book (and workbook if you choose to use it) offers a powerful opportunity for self reflection and personal improvement. In 2020, shortly after Missouri went into a lockdown due to COVID, I gathered some of my co-workers with MU Extension to teach all 21 chapters out of the book. We had nearly 100 individuals register join us online for the 21-session study. Links to the 30-minute class videos are linked in the heading of each quality or characteristic.  Let's look at the important lessons from the book, and how they can help...

  The Engaged Neighbor Program is dedicated to teaching people how to be friendly, active, and connected neighbors. The program's mission is to make being a kind, active neighbor not only something people do, but something that is seen as healthy, normal, and important. By offering engaging events, helpful training, and easy-to-follow resources, the program encourages individuals to get involved, build relationships, and contribute positively to their neighborhoods. Vision: The program aims to foster strong, connected communities where everyone feels a sense of belonging and is actively engaged with their neighbors. It seeks to make the act of being an engaged neighbor a celebrated and expected part of community life. Goals: To make being a kind, active, and connected neighbor a widely recognized and important aspect of community life. To build the "civic muscle" of neighborhoods by focusing on key elements like belonging, contribution, leadership, and vitality. To train...

  In the movie "A Christmas Story," the Bumpus family is a perfect example of how not to be a good neighbor. They live next door to Ralphie Parker and his family, and their actions create a lot of problems for the Parkers.  By looking at the Bumpus family’s behavior, we can see several important lessons about how to avoid being a bad neighbor. First, the Bumpus family is loud and disruptive. Throughout the movie, they are shown to have numerous dogs that bark constantly. This noise disturbs the Parkers, especially when they are trying to enjoy a peaceful evening at home. A good neighbor respects quiet hours and makes sure to keep noise levels down, especially at night. Loud pets, parties, or even yelling can make the environment uncomfortable for those living nearby. Second, the Bumpus family doesn’t seem to care about the appearance of their property. In the movie, we see that their house is messy, and the yard is overrun with their dogs. A good neighbor keeps their property...

  Many years ago, my wife and I had a friend who came home to find her husband had passed away on their front porch. Their house was on a busy street, and we often wondered how many people might have seen him lying there but didn’t stop to help. This story reflects a troubling trend—people passing by without noticing or caring about  someone in need. Neighbors are often the closest people to us in emergencies, acting as first responders when help is needed. Yet, it seems more common today for neighbors to remain disconnected, focused on their own lives. This may be partly due to distractions, like technology, but it also shows a decline in empathy and concern for others. Building Trust Builds Community Trust is the foundation of any community. When neighbors trust each other, they create stronger connections and a sense of belonging. People are more likely to help one another, share resources, and work together. This creates a positive environment where everyone feels cared fo...

  SPRINGFIELD, Mo. – As the New Year approaches, many people are setting resolutions to improve their lives. This year, why not take a step beyond personal goals and focus on your community? The Engaged Neighbor Principles offer a meaningful way to connect with those around you, strengthen relationships, and create a positive impact in your neighborhood. “As we step into 2025, let’s resolve to build stronger, more caring communities,” says David Burton, a community development specialist with University of Missouri Extension, and author of the principles. “The Engaged Neighbor Principles remind us that even small actions can create meaningful change. Together, we can make our neighborhoods places where everyone feels welcome and supported.” What Are the Engaged Neighbor Principles?   The Engaged Neighbor Principles encourage individual steps under five different principles that spell REACH: Relationships, Empathy, Action, Courage and Humility. Under the principle “relationship...

  Ebenezer Scrooge, the central character in Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol , is a powerful example of the limits of financial success when social capital is neglected.  At the start of the story, Scrooge is wealthy by every economic measure. His business thrives, and he has amassed significant financial resources. Yet, his life is a portrait of isolation and unhappiness. He has alienated his employees, lost touch with his community, and sacrificed relationships in his relentless pursuit of wealth.  His story reminds us that true success is about more than money—it’s about the connections and contributions we make in the lives of others. Scrooge’s transformation begins with the intervention of three ghosts who confront him with the consequences of his choices. They reveal the pain he has caused his employee, Bob Cratchit, and his family, who struggle to make ends meet despite Scrooge’s riches. They show him the emptiness of a life lived without meaningful relationship...

  “In Bedford Falls there is a shared history. A shared pride. A shared concern not only the place but also the people in the place. The point isn’t that we should all move to small towns. The point is that we’re fortunate if, wherever we live, we can carve out lives in those places where people are a priority.” - Bob Welch In his book 52 Life Lessons from It’s a Wonderful Life , Bob Welch talks about the importance of community. He uses Bedford Falls, the town in the movie, to show how a community works best when people care about each other. Welch says that what makes a community special isn’t its size or location—it’s how the people there look out for one another and work together. No matter where we live, it’s important to focus on people and take responsibility for our actions. When we help others and work together, we make the whole community better. This is true whether we live in a small town or a big city. Welch explains that a community isn’t just a group of people living...

For our family, Christmas wouldn’t feel right without watching It’s a Wonderful Life . This movie isn’t just about Christmas—it’s about how people can help each other and build a loving, strong community, neighborhood, or church family. I once read something by a teacher named Professor Ray Carney. He said the movie shows that life can feel like a happy picture from a storybook. But he also thought the movie was sad because George Bailey, the main character, didn’t get to chase his big dreams. He stayed in his hometown, married a girl he already knew, and never traveled the world. The professor called George a lonely and sad character. That idea doesn’t make sense to me. George Bailey isn’t sad—he’s the richest man in town! Not because of money, but because he cared about people, helped them, and stood up for what was right. He gave his best to his family and friends, and that’s what really matters. Sure, George never got to visit Europe, but he wasn’t just wandering through life like ...

“We Need to Hang Out: A Memoir of Making Friends” by Billy Baker is a candid, humorous, and relatable exploration of the challenges and complexities of adult friendships. In this memoir, Baker, a Boston Globe journalist, reflects on his personal struggle to maintain meaningful connections as an adult, diving into the pressures, awkwardness, and sometimes comical efforts required to keep friendships alive in a busy and often isolating world. Baker's writing is both witty and poignant, balancing humor with emotional depth as he recounts his own efforts to nurture friendships—especially after the busy, commitment-heavy years of early adulthood have passed. He also causes in the book, a little too much for me! But in the book, as he grapples with the realities of balancing family life, work, and other responsibilities, the memoir touches on the universal experience of realizing that, despite being surrounded by people, one can still feel profoundly lonely. Baker's vulnera...

  In today’s fast-paced world, where everything seems to be about perfection and polish, the concept of "scruffy hospitality" offers a refreshing, more authentic way of hosting. This new approach to hospitality is less about curated experiences and pristine settings and more about creating a welcoming environment that prioritizes warmth, comfort, and genuine connection over formality or strict expectations.  I first read about "scruffy hospitality" in this article on the Today website because a co-worker sent me the link. What is Scruffy Hospitality? At its core, scruffy hospitality is a laid-back, no-frills approach to hosting that embraces imperfection. The term “scruffy” here doesn’t refer to a lack of care, but rather a focus on authenticity and ease. It’s about fostering an atmosphere where guests feel relaxed, free to be themselves, and welcomed into a home or space without the pressure of rigid social norms or formal expectations. It’s a style of hospitality...