We Are Neighbors

When I write the word “neighborhood,” what comes to mind? Did you picture a subdivision, city street, or perhaps a rural homestead with neighbors miles away? Did any of you think of Mister Fred Rogers, the host of “Mister Rogers Neighborhood” for 50 years on PBS? My answer today would be yes, although I did not watch the show growing up. Mister Rogers died 20 years ago. But his influence is still seen in children’s television, and people celebrate his lessons and write books about him. Many of the lessons Mister Rogers taught children are also important to adults. Feelings matter. What’s mentionable is manageable.  Rogers said, “When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary.” We must learn to give proper voice to emotion and manage it. Take time for creative play.  The Neighborhood of Make-Believe, the puppet kingdom, existed to show imagination, problem-solving, and growth.  Learning new things can be challenging. Mist...

  I love reading about neighboring and I also love funny television shows. When the show includes a fascinating neighbor, I really perk up! Over the last several months, I've taken some time to create a a top 10 list of my favorite sitcom neighbors, along with an impressive list of Honorable Mentions. Here is my list in ranked order. 10. Mr. Bentley (The Jeffersons): Paul Benedict was the simpleminded British neighbor to George and Louise. Mr. Bentley always meant well, even if he showed up at the most inopportune times. His humor was not on everybody's radar, but he dealt with often irate George, who had no problem throwing barbs his neighbor's way.  9. Winnie Cooper (The Wonder Years): In the early seasons of this ABC hit, Winnie (Danica McKellar) lived on the same block as series protagonist Kevin Arnold (Fred Savage). Eventually, Winnie and her family moved across town, but she remained an important part of Kevin's life.  8. The Jeffersons (All In The Family): Georg...

  Does God need a public relations agency or media campaign? After the "He Gets Us" media campaign ran $20 million worth of television ads during the 2023 Super Bowl, I asked that question . I'll give you a hint about my conclusion: why would God need a media campaign if He had millions of Christians loving their literal neighbors? What if Christians focused on a theology of place and used front-yard ministry to get to know and love their immediate neighbors? Instead of $20 million for 160 minutes of air-time, could we mobilize millions of American believers to build relationships with their next-door neighbors? Could we build relationships on understanding, compassion, and loving our neighbors no matter their response? If we did, imagine what a movement of change that could bring to our neighborhoods, cities, and even our own lives! The Servant Foundation is funding the He Gets Us media campaign. They have a $100 million budget and some big supporters, like the Green Fam...

  Dave Runyon is co-author of the ground-breaking book, "The Art of Neighboring." This book was published in 2011 and continues to have impact even today. Runyon and the author of this blog (David Burton) have struck up a friendship because of some of our shared interest of loving our neighbors. Runyon has supported my work and is a frequent sounding board for new ideas. We talked just this week about our mutual frustration with getting American churches to grasp the idea of neighboring as important as well as resistance to a theology of place. That is when he shared some sage advice about building support for neighboring efforts in your church. He said: "Keep it simple and say it over and over and over." Here was his point: North American churches expect pastors to say something smart, academic, and new every week, which is why many pastors are hesitant to talk about neighbor outreach weekly. "My advice is to say something simple but say it over and over ...

  Currently, there are no scientific surveys to determine whether or not you are a good neighbor. I do think one of the best measurements is how many of your eight closest neighbors do you know by name and speak to at least once a month. But I think this quiz is the best when it comes to having fun with the idea and determining the type of neighbor you are. So, while no one is watching, take this little quiz for yourself. Be honest with your answers, and you will get honest results in the end.   1.      I like my neighbors. Yes No Somewhat   2.      My neighbors like me. Yes No Somewhat   3.      I talk to my neighbors. Yes No Somewhat   4.      I do nice things for my neighbors. Yes No Somewhat   5.      I genuinely care for my neighbors. Yes No Somewhat   6.      My neighbo...

  The current cultural narrative in America is that good neighbors are quiet and leave us alone. It has not always been that way, but researchers have noticed a change over the past forty years. A scientific study now supports this observation. The Greene County MU Extension Council authorized monies in 2022 to conduct southwest Missouri's first "State of Neighboring" survey. The plan is to repeat this study every year or two to chart progress (or regression). I am convinced the most significant part of our problem is that most Americans already think they are good neighbors because they smile and wave at people around them. One thing that jumps off the page of our "State of Neighboring" survey for Southwest Missouri is that a majority say a good neighbor is quiet and leaves them alone. When asked to pick traits of a good neighbor, 70% of respondents said "respects my privacy," and 55% said: "is quiet – does not make excessive noise." MU Exte...

  In this current era for America and Springfield, the cultural narrative is that good neighbors are quiet and leave us alone. It has not always been that way, but researchers have noticed a change over the past forty years. Dr. Richard Schwartz, a psychiatrist from Harvard medical school, writes about this trend in a book with Dr. Jacqueline Olds entitled, "The Lonely American." They observed that in the 1950s, Americans expected interaction, to be welcomed to the neighborhood, to share tools or food, to watch each other's kids, to have someone to watch their home when gone, and someone who would invite them over for dinner. For most of our history, the neighbor relationship was focused on social interaction. Then in their 2012 book, they observed that neighbor behavior had become different. They summarize their answer to what Americans expect in a neighbor as "someone who is quiet and leaves them alone." "Those comments in our book were based ...

  Nothing connects neighbors like food, and apparently, nothing says love like lasagna. Karen Harris of Springfield is the area volunteer coordinator for a neighboring movement known as Lasagna Love. Although her home is busy with the activities of her husband (retired Navy veteran) and three teenage daughters, Harris says it is not too busy to find time to use food to help others. "One of the things that I've always been raised to do is to help," said Harris. "My dad used to say to ring the doorbell with your elbows, insinuating that you show up to help people. With a strong Italian heritage, Italians speak with food. It's a great way to help somebody." When Harris discovered Lasagna Love (https://www.lasagnalove.org), it seemed like a match made in heaven. "Somebody told me there was this cool organization where you could deliver lasagna to somebody in your community. I checked it out and decided it was the right mission for me," said H...

  When a disaster strikes, who are you going to call? Several residents in rural Highlandville recently answered that question with action when they reached out to their neighbors and came to help when a neighbor's home caught on fire. It all began with an effort by Echo Alexzander to meet her new rural neighbors, which turned out to be essential for an emergency response just a few weeks later. "After attending a Neighboring 101 class offered by MU Extension, I decided to host a cookout with my new neighbors," said Alexzander. "We made up flyers and delivered them to homes and worked to build relationships with everyone in a two-mile radius." Thirty-two neighbors ended up attending the cookout; many of them had never met each other in "real life." Alexzander said efforts like this matter, especially in rural areas. "We were able to create a contact list for neighbors immediately. Then within a few weeks, there was a house fire, and we cou...