We Are Neighbors

  In the 2024 "State of Neighboring" survey of Missourians, our final survey question sought open-ended responses to this question: “What does it mean to love your neighbor?” This is an analysis of the main themes and categories identified in the responses: Principle Themes Kindness and Respect: A dominant theme is the emphasis on kindness and respect towards neighbors. Many respondents equate loving your neighbor with treating them kindly and showing respect for their privacy, property, and individuality. Empathy and Assistance: Respondents frequently highlighted the importance of being empathetic and providing assistance. This includes checking on neighbors in times of need, offering help without being asked, and providing support during emergencies. The Golden Rule: A recurring sentiment reflects the “Golden Rule”—treating others as one wishes to be treated. This principle encompasses respect, fairness, and mutual care. Community and Connection: Some responses point to...

Winning awards can be a powerful way to gain recognition, enhance your credibility, get recognition for your efforts, elevate the value of your work, and open up new opportunities. However, the process of identifying relevant awards and crafting compelling applications can feel daunting. This essay provides practical tips for identifying awards, crafting strong nominations, and repurposing the effort for other professional uses, such as reporting, promotion, or blogging. If you would prefer to see this as a video, check out this interview and discussion on YouTube with David Burton about the same topic. Step 1: Identifying Relevant Awards The first step to winning awards is finding the right ones! Here are some strategies to help you identify opportunities: Research within field of work: Start by looking for awards specific to your industry, profession, or area of expertise. Use professional associations, industry publications, and online forums to uncover award opportunities. Networ...

  Last summer (2024), I experienced a public setback in the city of Republic. The city council decided not to renew a consulting contract with the University of Missouri Extension after one year despite some successes. This contract allowed me to work with a staff committee on a community engagement project focused on neighboring. One idea I was encouraged was modeled after something with public meetings in Peoria, Arizona . I also thought this would be the start of a process toward creating neighborhood associations. If you are confused about that that is, I explain it in this blog . I wanted to help my local community through this effort.  But in my excitement, I didn’t ask enough questions.  After a few planning meetings, I thought I understood the city staff’s goals for the project. Unfortunately, I did not, and neither did the staff committee or the city council. As a result, we missed a golden opportunity to do something positive in a growing town. However, neighbor...

  Author and leadership coach John C. Maxwell once said, “Fail early, fail often, but always fail forward.” If you look back and see areas where you fell short, take time to consider the lessons learned and how to use that experience to move forward. While failure can be humbling and painful, it often paves the path to success.  My Failures In 1976, when I was in fifth grade, I went with my dad to a store in Springfield to buy fishing lures and bait. A local kid named Johnny Morris had started selling fishing supplies in the back of his dad’s liquor store in 1972. I remember being shocked by the cost of earthworms.  Inspired, I decided to start a worm farm. I built a raised bed, collected coffee grounds from my grandma, and painted signs for our yard that read “Worms for Sale.” But there was a problem. When I had my first customer, I could not find any worms. My grandpa (the first customer) summed it up perfectly: “You need to practice raising worms before you advertise.”...

Building strong relationships with our neighbors is a lot like growing a Chinese bamboo tree. At first, it may seem like nothing is happening, but with patience, effort, and care, incredible growth can occur over time. Take the Chinese bamboo tree, for example. It requires consistent watering, fertilizing, and care for five years before you even see a sprout break through the soil. Once it does, though, it can grow as much as 90 feet in just five weeks! This remarkable process mirrors how relationships develop—they take time and dedication before they show visible results. On my Facebook page “Becoming an Engaged Neighbor,” I asked for people to share their experiences of growing relationships with time. One poster shared this story as an example. “When I first moved into my neighborhood, I met an elderly woman down the street. Every time I walked by her house, I’d wave or say hello. Our exchanges were polite but brief. But then one snowy day, I saw her struggling to shovel her drivewa...

  I've written the following story about a fictional town to showcase the findings and recommendations of the State of Neighboring studies done in 2022 and 2024. An official research document will be out in 2024 with recommendations for action. Neighboring in Harmon Creek In the small (fictional) town of Harmony Creek, nestled in the rolling hills of Missouri, a quiet transformation was underway. Known for its picturesque streets and charming homes, the town's heart had always been its sense of community. But over the years, things had changed. Neighbors like Susan Thompson, a retired teacher, fondly remembered the potlucks and block parties of the 1980s when porches were lively gathering spots, and everyone knew each other by name. Today, Susan mostly waved to her neighbors from her garden, exchanging polite but surface-level greetings. “People value their privacy more now,” she observed, echoing the findings of a recent state survey. The survey revealed that most Missourians ...

  "The federal government's been looking and asking people about how they spend their time for about 60 years. We've never spent less time socializing or more time by ourselves.  ...  The individual preference for solitude, scaled up across society and exercised repeatedly over time, is rewiring America’s civic and psychic identity . ” - Derek Thompson How Solitude is Reshaping America In Derek Thompson’s cover story for The Atlantic , titled “The Anti-Social Century,” he explores a critical yet underappreciated social trend: Americans are spending more time alone than ever before, and this shift has profound implications for our personalities, politics, and overall societal health. Thompson’s work reveals that self-imposed solitude has become a defining feature of 21st-century life, fueled by technology and modern conveniences. While alone time can be restorative, the pervasive and habitual isolation experienced by many Americans is reshaping the civic and psychological ...

  The Family Dinner Project: Strengthening Families One Meal at a Time The Family Dinner Project is a program that encourages families to come together for meals, conversation, and connection. It is based on a simple yet powerful idea: shared meals can strengthen family bonds, improve communication, and create happier, healthier relationships. While life can be busy, the project reminds families that setting aside time for dinner together is an important step toward building strong, supportive connections. Goals of The Family Dinner Project The main goal of The Family Dinner Project is to help families experience the benefits of eating meals together. Studies show that children who regularly eat dinner with their families tend to do better in school, have higher self-esteem, and are less likely to engage in risky behaviors like drug or alcohol use. Family dinners also provide a chance to share values, teach life lessons, and enjoy quality time without distractions. The project also...

  Lila loved her garden. It was her pride and joy, a small haven of colorful blooms and carefully trimmed hedges. Every morning, she sipped her coffee while admiring her hard work. That’s why her heart sank when she stepped outside to see tire tracks cutting deep into the soft soil and her prized roses crushed. She followed the trail to find her neighbor, Charlie, staring guiltily at his truck. His voice shook as he explained that his brakes had failed, and he swerved onto her property to avoid hitting a child chasing a ball into the street. Anger surged in Lila, but as she looked into Charlie’s weary eyes, she saw fear and regret. “The kid is okay?” she asked softly. Charlie nodded, his voice cracking with relief. “Well,” Lila said, surprising herself, “flowers can grow back. I’m glad everyone’s safe.” Over the next few weeks, Charlie and Lila worked together to restore her garden. He brought over fresh soil, new rose bushes, and a sincere apology. As the garden blossome...